• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Crushing Krisis

The Newest Oldest Blog In New Zealand

  • DC Guides
    • DC Events
    • DC New 52
    • DC Rebirth
    • Batman Guide
    • The Sandman Universe
  • Marvel Guides
    • Marvel Events
    • Captain America Guide
    • Iron Man Guide
    • Spider-Man Guide (1963-2018)
    • Spider-Man Guide (2018-Present)
    • Thor Guide
    • X-Men Reading Order
  • Indie & Licensed Comics
    • Spawn
    • Star Wars Guide
      • Expanded Universe Comics (2015 – present)
      • Legends Comics (1977 – 2014)
    • Valiant Guides
  • Drag
    • Canada’s Drag Race
    • Drag Race Belgique
    • Drag Race Down Under
    • Drag Race Sverige (Sweden)
    • Drag Race France
    • Drag Race Philippines
    • Dragula
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars
  • Archive
  • Contact!
You are here: Home / Personal / off-topics / family /

December 24, 2001 by krisis

My mother, ever the intrepid homemaker upon the once-a-year occasion that finds me in our house for three consecutive days, rose with dawn this morning to acquire the last few items on our Italian Christmas Grocery List. We do not make ham. We do not eat turkey. For us, Christmas is all about a inordinately large pot of gravy, some sort of homemade pasta, and upwards of a dozen eggs worth of scappels. However, since i left for school, Christmas has also been the chance for the two of us to collectively gorge ourselves on high-cholesterol Italian desserts. This was the reason Elaine was out of the house just after eight this morning.


While i am a cheesecake addict through and through, my mother tends to veer more towards pastries and chocolates. This year she decided that my jumbo-cheesecake would get the axe in favour of an equally massive tiramisu, and the bakery informed her that she’d have to arrive “pretty early” to secure a nummy liquor-soaked cake for herself. They literally told her that people would be lined up around the block before the subway started running; she took it with a grain of salt and got in the car during the back half of Good Morning America.


8:25 — “Hey, it’s me… i can’t believe you actually woke up this early. … Whatever. Listen, i’m just swinging by the pastry place and running some quick errands. … Yeah, i’ll be at your apartment by ten.”


Much to my mother’s chagrin (and my endless amusement), the line at Isgro’s was around the block … not only around the block, but nearly motionless in a dead-pan imitation of its ticket-line cousin i endured while flying last week.


9:30 — “Peter, hey, it’s me … i’ve been in line for about an hour. … You should see it, it’s a madhouse … I’ll call you before i come to pick you up. … Yeah, i should be there around ten-thirty.”

And, not only was this line packed to the gills with a cheery assortment of dietary die-hard degos who had the presence of mind to bring along folding chairs and thermoses, but it was being patrolled by a Mr. and Mrs. Claus — her with pastry samples, and him with a tray of Amaretto in tiny disposable shot-glasses. Furthermore, the local news was interviewing people up and down the line, kindly declining several offers of liquid warmth … via Mr. Claus as well as the crowd at large (who apparently came equipped). Did i mention it was about 43 degrees outside?


10:35 — “Um, Peter, it’s me … Yes, i’m still in line. … No, i can’t even see the doors from here. Santa keeps asking me if i’d like a drink. … Oh, no, I should be in by eleven.”

Upon her finally arriving (let’s call it @ twelvish) my mother had bought half our housecat’s weight in Italian desserts, and she blithely informed me that she was going to be on the noon and five-o’clock news, the latter of which she was taping at that very moment.


I skipped over the bit where i hid all of the liquor in my apartment so my grandmother could come up and see it (“Jesus, do you have enough steps in this place? I swear, i’d have a heart attack with all these goddamned steps.”), and also the bit where i got zero sleep to finish my mother’s freaking Christmas present that she had better appreciate.

Does anybody rememer last Christmas? I seem to remember it being cuter than this…

Related posts:

  1. on naming a baby

Filed Under: family, food, stories Tagged With: mom, x-mas

Previous Post: « Previous Post
Next Post: Next Post »

Primary Sidebar


Support Crushing Krisis on Patreon
Support CK
on Patreon


Follow me on Twitter Contact me Watch me on Youtube Subscribe to the CK RSS Feed

About CK

About Crushing Krisis
About My Music
About Your Author
Blog Archive
Comics Blogs Only
Contact Krisis
Terms & Conditions

Crushing Comics

Marvel Comics

Marvel Events Guide

Spider-Man Guide

DC Comics

  • New for Patrons: Guide to Drax the Destroyer
    Learn about the many eras of Drax the Destroyer in my new Guide to Drax, including how the MCU pulled one major detail from each incarnation. […]
  • Guide to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IDW ContinuityNew for Patrons: Guide to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IDW Continuity
    Dig into over 200 issues of turtle power in perfect story order with my Guide to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comics at IDW! […]
  • Drag Race Sverige Season 1, Episode 3 – “Drag-a’-mera!” design challenge Review & Power Ranking
    The queens of Drag Race Sverige stress over a Drag-a'-mera unconventional materials design challenge and a pair of intimidating judges in Christer Lindarw & Fredrik Robertsson. […]
  • New for Patrons: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Guide to Mirage Studios Continuity
    Curious about the b&w indie comic origins of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? my Guide to Mirage Studios Continuity covers every issue! […]
  • Drag Race Belgique Season 1, Episode 5 – Snatch Game & Night of 1001 Audrey Hepburns Runway
    The queens of Belgique compete in a oddly low-key Snatch Game and a Night of 1001 Audrey Hepburns runway that emphasized realness over glam. […]
  • RuPauls Drag Race Season 15 Episode 12 - Wigloose The Rusical Title CardRuPaul’s Drag Race Season 15, Episode 12 – “Wigloose The Rusical” Review & Power Ranking
    Wigloose is one of the best Rusicals ever, and it arrives at the perfect moment to address anti-drag, anti-LGBTQA* legislation across America. […]
  • Updated: Guide to X-Men Legacy
    I updated my Guide to X-Men Legacy, but it's more like an anti-update - since Marvel has yet to get around to recollecting Mike Carey's incredibly run. […]
  • Guide to GamoraNew for Patrons: Guide to Gamora
    Learn more about Thanos's adopted daughter and the most dangerous woman in the galaxy in this Guide to Gamora, of the Guardians of the Galaxy […]
  • New for Patrons: Guide to Shadowhawk by Jim Valentino
    If you've spent some portion of the past 30 years curious about Jim Valentino's Image Comics hero, my new Guide to ShadowHawk explains his history and how to find every issue in reading order. […]
  • Drag Race Sverige Season 1, Episode 2 – “MARATHON Talent Hunt” Review & Power Ranking
    It's the "MARATHON Talent Hunt" as Drag Race Sverige puts on a talent show with some shocking acts, followed by a Pippi Longstocking runway. […]
  • Shazam Guide, The Captain Marvel of DC Comics – now available to the public!
    Excited for Shazam! Fury of the Gods but unsure where to start reading his comics? My Shazam Guide covers EVERY appearance from 1940 to today! […]
  • Drag Race Belgique Season 1, Episode 4 – “L’émission qui vous déshabille” acting challenge & “Ceci n’est pas un look!” runway Review & Power Ranking
    Drag Race Belgique delivered a brainy episode filled with culture with a spoof of the documentary "Ni Juge, Ni Soumise" and a Magritte-inspired "Ceci N’est Pas un Look" surrealist runway. […]
  • RuPaul's Drag Race Season 15 Episode 11 - Two Queens One Joke - Comedy Luxx Noir London Loosey LaDucaRuPaul’s Drag Race Season 15, Episode 11 – “Two Queens, One Joke” Review & Power Ranking
    The Top 7 queens of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 15 take the stage for a Two Queens One Joke comedy challenge and a Rip Her To Shreds runway. […]
  • Updated: Guide to New X-Men by Grant Morrison
    My Guide to New X-Men is freshly updated with the newest reprinting of the New X-Men by Grant Morrison omnibus, the final Peter Milligan recollection, and more. […]

Layout copyright © 2017 · Foodie Pro Theme by Shay Bocks · Built on the Genesis Framework · Powered by WordPress

Links from Crushing Krisis to retailer websites may be in the form of affiliate links. If you purchase through an affiliate link I will receive a minor credit as your referrer. My credit does not affect your purchase price. Affiliate programs and affiliations include, but are not limited to: Amazon Services LLC Associates Program (in the US, UK, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, and Spain), eBay Partner Network, and iTunes Affiliate Program.