As for resolution… in seventh grade i resolved to be attractive. I was going to pay more attention to what i was wearing and how i brushed my hair, and i was going to make an effort to talk to the girls i liked. I could make it happen. I resolved to make it happen.

Six years later i had my first kiss.

You can’t really resolve to do anything except for those things so explicitly under your own power that you could and should be doing them anyway. I would resolve to see my friends more, or to cook more, or to be more organized … except all three of those things got under way well before the drop of the ball because i realized how easy it would be for me to do them. Other resolutions are less finite… losing weight, seeking out a meaningful relationship, or getting straight A’s. I’d love to do any or all of those things, but they’re circumstantial — i can try my darndest to accomplish them with nary a result if the fates don’t intend it to happen.

So, what am i resolving to do, you might wonder? The only thing i can responsibly resolve to: resolving. I can’t promise myself to make anything happen that isn’t directly within my own power, and i’ve already began to work on things about myself that i’d like to change, so all that is left is to make an attempt to be at peace with all of those nasty circumstances i brought up in my last post so that i can face the new year fresh and ready for anything.

I’ll be sure to let you know how it turns out…