This is the last weekend of my life as i have come to know it.
I have this way of always wanting to do the thing that stands three steps ahead of me rather than the one i have to do at the moment. In class i want to be playing guitar, playing guitar i want to be playing City of Heroes, and playing CoH i want to be working on The Mother-Daughter Dyad in Duras and Kincaid.
Just like turning cards in a game of solitaire, some things keep getting dealt past, flashing by as the next trio of cards are flipped. In solitaire, you desperately seek a home for the cards between you and your object. In my life, i desperately hurtle towards deadlines.
This week is a series of deadlines. By Friday, my life will have ended.
My room is teeming with boxes half-packed in anticipation of moving out of what was truly my “college apartment.” They need to be done by Monday morning. By Tuesday night i will have gone from from living relationally on my own to sharing each “good morning” and “good night” with another person.
I am frantically building a completely new website from scratch for the first time in years. It will be at once like and unlike this one. And orange. It is for a class — one of ten assignments pending in my four courses. At 3:20 PM on Thursday, i will attend the last class of my college career. If all of my assignments are in by Friday, i will qualify to graduate.
So, you see, my life is ending. When i wake up on Saturday i will be in my new apartment, in a different bed, in the strange sensations of being free from the pressure of college. I will be in a new life; finally an adult. Perhaps i had the opportunity to become one sometime before now, but i kept dealing past it.