We are lying in bed, wrapped around each other. We are tired, but neither of us are going to sleep.
E saw blood. How much and what color and all of that is at once important and immaterial. If she sees it again, something may be wrong with our baby, just an apple seed in her belly.
This is hard.
Not only the worry, but the not knowing what the hell to do. E does not have an OB yet, just a GYN, so there’s no one for us to call. (Long story, not mine to tell.) Our potential birthing center and its midwives don’t want anything to do with us until eight weeks.
I am not the boss of E or her body, but I am invested in this apple seed, so I say my piece. We should go to an urgent care center in the morning, or else we’re going to be worried forever. Let’s get an answer, even if there’s nothing in our power to change it.
She made the call – no urgent care, but she would get referred to an OB on Monday.
That’s a long time from now. Too long, for me.
Note: This post was embargoed until we reached 20 weeks; it was made public on 3/20/2013.