• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Crushing Krisis

The Newest Oldest Blog In New Zealand

  • Archive
  • DC Guides
    • DC New 52
    • DC Events
    • DC Rebirth
    • Batman Guide
  • Marvel Guides
    • Omnibus & Oversize Hardcover DB
    • Marvel Events
  • Star Wars Guide
    • Expanded Universe Comics (2015 – present)
    • Legends Comics (1977 – 2014)
  • Valiant Guides
  • Contact!
You are here: Home / Personal / topics / thoughts / The Great Wellington Wheelie Bin Saga of ’17

The Great Wellington Wheelie Bin Saga of ’17

November 8, 2017 by krisis

One way you can be pretty sure that I am a liberal in American political terms is that I really don’t mind taxes.

I frame this sentiment in two ways. First, I happen to have empathy for my fellow human beings and I am totally cool with redistributing a pretty big sum of my meagre wealth to other people if it serves the greater good.

But, shhhh, be quiet about all that altruism. The second reason is why I really don’t mind taxes: I want stuff from my government.

Roads? I like’em. Firefighters? Nifty. And for all the bitching that homeowners did in Drexel Hill about their property taxes, do you know how excited I was every time the dang snow plow would come down our dull little street before there was even an inch of snow on the ground?

SO EXCITED! Because, after you have lived through a few blizzards in Philly proper, where your side street is left with six inches of hard-packed ice on the ground for a month after the snow, the sight of a snow plow before it’s even really necessary is really freaking exciting.

New Zealand has an uncomplicated flat tax rate on income and in exchange for forking over so much of your hard-earned money the government actually cares about you while you live there. Yes, socialized medicine, they have that. But I’m talking about special perks like friendly and informative people working at the Ministry of Biosecurity who don’t mind talking to you on the phone. I’m talking about really well-designed government websites that thoroughly answer your questions about every possible municipal service.

Look at them there, all lined up together, so stately and consistent with their thick yellow plastic lids.

It was just such a service that brought me to said web site a few weeks ago. As a part of Wellington’s impeccably well-choreographed dance of weekly trash and recycling pickup, I noticed that some amount of neighbors had special wheelie bins for their recycling, while we were left with the still-pretty-cool color-coded bags that you buy at the library – a place where paper goods can also go to get re-used!

(Can we just pause for a moment to marvel at the narrative consistency of this country?!)

Anyhow, putting recycling in a disposable plastic bag seemed to be a bit counter-intuitive and I covet pretty much any kind of functional houseware I can lay my hands on, so of course I wanted our own wheelie bin. They didn’t seem to be sold anywhere I could find, so I turned to internet research, which is actually effective in Wellington because all of their web properties are so lovely.

The lovely government website provided a handy number to call for wheelie bin inquiries. The handy number was answered by a friendly human being with one of the thicker Wellingtonian accents I have encountered to date. Forging through this potential communication barrier, I explained how I coveted a wheelie bin. In return, the friendly government employee (paid for by our hard-earned tax dollars) explained that he would have someone visit our property to conduct a multi-point inspection for appropriateness of wheelie-bin issuance and we would be notified by post if we were approved.

“Awesome,” I told him. I love tests. Bring on the inspection.

Friends, yesterday I received a letter from our friendly, helpful government. Do you know what it said?

WE HAVE BEEN DENIED A WHEELIE BIN.

As you might expect, my initial reaction was to be at least 51% Philadelphia-style outraged. What did they mean denied? Hadn’t they noticed all of our other neighbors with bins? Did I have to take photos of every one of those bins and send them every hour on the hour to the friendly, heavily-accented man until he relented and reversed the decision about our property?

Yet, if I was 51% outraged, I was also 49% bereft. This was one of those awesome government services I was excited to enjoy here. Do you know how hard it is to get your recycling bin replaced in Philadelphia? Actually, scratch that – do you know how hard it is to contest the ticket you are written after your neighbors muss up your recycling so that it’s uncollectible but it’s not your fault at all?

I know. I remember. I was looking forward to living in a kinder, gentler, friendly, more service-oriented municipality, and the first thing they did was shatter my wheelie dreams.

I had literally reached the point of stalking out of my house on recycling day with phone in hand to document all the neighbors who were unfairly flaunting their wheelie bins when I caught a hold of myself.

Did I really want to bring this style of battery-throwing Philadelphia argumentativeness to Wellington? And, now that I was out on the street early on a Monday morning, wasn’t the inspection letter kind of right about how there was no safe space for a bin at the end of our drive? And wasn’t it awfully exposed to wind from all four sides, another disqualifying factor? And, come to think of it, wasn’t it the case that none of our immediate neighbors had their own bins, either?

I slunk back into my house, my quest for vengeance against the wheelie bin appropriateness inspectors safely deflated. Being denied the wheelie bin was the whole point of being in such a cool place. They actually thought about if we ought to have a bin. Like, they didn’t just peek at Google Earth, they visited our house and gave it personal attention. Know how friendly and helpful everyone is here, they probably tried their darndest to find a spot where the bin could work.

Would I rather the street be strewn with windswept bins and their various contents every week? No. On the list of stuff I hated about our last house, chasing our recycling down the block on a windy day was pretty high.

Thus, today I am feeling 99% resolved about our wheelie bin situation, and just 1% sad … because they seem like really well-made bins. But I’ve convinced myself that Wellington is much too clever to be creating tons of plastic bag waste with their recycling, so they must be managing those somehow.

Plus, if I ever can’t fit a stack of cardboard boxes into one of the bags, the government website has a very informative section about bringing your own recycling to the dump. I am actually really excited to visit the dump.

(There’s a sentence I would never say in Philly.)

Related posts:

  1. does it taste the same?
  2. minor shocks
  3. left side shock (or: The Great Wellington Cat-Brothel / Bird-Genital Tug-of-War)

Filed Under: thoughts Tagged With: New Zealand

Previous Post: « Crushing Comics, S01E08 – Uncanny X-Men Omnibus, Vol. 2
Next Post: Crushing Comics S01E09 – New Avengers (2005) Vol. 3-4, Young Avengers (2005), & Avengers/Invaders »

Primary Sidebar


Support Crushing Krisis on Patreon
Support CK
on Patreon


Follow me on Twitter Contact me Watch me on Youtube Subscribe to the CK RSS Feed

About CK

About Crushing Krisis
About My Music
About Your Author
Blog Archive
Comics Blogs Only
Contact Krisis
Terms & Conditions

Crushing Comics

Marvel Comics

Marvel Events Guide

Marvel Omnibus Guide

Spider-Man Guide

DC Comics

  • D&D 5e-Compatible Kickstarter Round-Up: Adventuring With Pride, Herbarium, Servants of the Lich King, & more!
    A critical look at every D&D 5e-compatible Kickstart project closing by July 4 based on its sales pitch, pledge levels, and in-game offerings. […]
  • Shanice - I Love Your Smile single coverMusic Monday: “I Love Your Smile” by Shanice
    "I Love Your Smile" is a perfect encapsulation of the pure, twinkling, late-80s R&B birthed by Janet Jackson with Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. […]
  • on new (old) holidays
    On Friday I got to experience something for the first time I can recall: celebrating a new public holiday for the first time. […]
  • RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 7, Episode 7 – Legendary Legend Looks: recap & power ranking!
    The All-Winners design Legendary Legends Looks inspired by RuPaul's favorite past outfits, and two of them are entirely red carpet ready! […]
  • New for Patrons: Guide to Marvel’s Angela
    From her debut in the pages of Spawn to her secret Asgardian history, I look at the complete comic book history of Neil Gaiman's Angela! […]
  • New for Patrons: Guide to Marvel’s Valkyrie
    Introducing a reading guide to every issue of Marvel's Valkyrie, from classic Defenders member Brunnhilde to the new MCU-inspired Rūna. […]
  • Drag Race France Season 1 – Pre-Season Power Rankings
    Drag Race France's debut season features 10 queens I've never seen before, and I've ranked them all based on their promo looks and Instagrams. […]
  • What makes a good Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition official release or 5e-Compatible supplement?
    There's an ever-increasing amount of D&D 5e-compatible material in the world, but how exactly do you choose what's right for your table? […]
  • Music Monday: “We’re Good” – Dua Lipa
    Dua Lipa's"We're Good" makes a major impact without a tricky song structure or vocal fireworks. It just needed a few contradictions. […]
  • extra sleep sunday
    Parenting programs your brain to believe that sleeping extra means danger. No one explained this to me before I became a parent. […]

Layout copyright © 2017 · Foodie Pro Theme by Shay Bocks · Built on the Genesis Framework · Powered by WordPress

Links from Crushing Krisis to retailer websites may be in the form of affiliate links. If you purchase through an affiliate link I will receive a minor credit as your referrer. My credit does not affect your purchase price. Affiliate programs and affiliations include, but are not limited to: Amazon Services LLC Associates Program (in the US, UK, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, and Spain), eBay Partner Network, and iTunes Affiliate Program.