• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

  • DC Guides
    • DC Events
    • DC New 52
    • DC Rebirth
    • Batman Guide
    • The Sandman Universe
  • Marvel Guides
    • Marvel Events
    • Captain America Guide
    • Iron Man Guide
    • Spider-Man Guide (1963-2018)
    • Spider-Man Guide (2018-Present)
    • Thor Guide
    • X-Men Reading Order
  • Indie & Licensed Comics
    • Spawn
    • Star Wars Guide
      • Expanded Universe Comics (2015 – present)
      • Legends Comics (1977 – 2014)
    • Valiant Guides
  • Drag
    • Canada’s Drag Race
    • Drag Race Belgique
    • Drag Race Down Under
    • Drag Race Sverige (Sweden)
    • Drag Race France
    • Drag Race Philippines
    • Dragula
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars
  • Archive
  • Contact!
You are here: Home / Personal / topics / memories /

June 7, 2001 by krisis

I am going to let you in on something i just found out tonight, in the hopes that you put the information to good use sometime in the future.

When you are invited to play an “acoustic night” at a college bar, you actually are not being asked to come and play acoustic music. The request is much nearer to: “Please come and provide a soundtrack for this crowd of drunk wanna-be frat guys and their not-quite pretty girl friends. Be advised that these men do not like the sound of an acoustic guitar unless it involves the sweet strains of Mr. Dave Matthews, and that they like listening to the songs of chick singers less than they like toothy blowjobs. Do not seek to entertain their girlfriends, as they will be too busy trying to look vaguely pretty and acting as though they are interested in talking to their increasingly intoxicated boyfriends. In light of these facts, we’re really asking you to come and play a half hour of cover songs that drunk guys know the approximate words to, and if you were planning to play originals they should be in the style of the esteemed Mr. Matthews or Bob Marley, may his soul rest in ganja-filled peace. And, no, they are not kidding when they yell ‘Freebird’ or ‘Stairway'”

“Splinter” and “No Second Chance” fell totally flat despite the fact that they are both very electric modern-rock affairs even when stripped down to one guitar. After half-hearted clapping for the latter song i deadpanned “don’t let me interupt your drinking experience; I am here to augment your drunkeness,” which didn’t even raise a chuckle from the audience but thankfully ended their patronizing clapping. In one last attempt to catch anyone’s attention i played “Under My Skin,” but at this point no one was vaguely listening to me with half an ear, so i decided to just have fun and ignore everyone for the rest of the set. “Up & Down” came out better than it has before despite messing with the timing a little, “Trouble With Poets” was nearly perfect,” “Lost” was nice to hear high up but definitely loses all of its viciousness, “Never Say Goodbye” came and went without much fanfare, and i was asked to play one more song while the next band got set up so i played a very very mean version of “Hold on Me” rather than what i was asked to play.

Yes, that means i subjected one poor unsuspecting audience to the terrible trio of breaking up (Spl, U&D, HoM), but i didn’t even mind. I can certainly keep playing “acoustic nights” to firm up my on-stage bravery in the face of tepid apathy, but if i want to get any kind of reaction at all i suppose i have to actually find some people who like folk music. Imagine that.

No related posts.

Filed Under: memories, performance, Year 01

Previous Post: « Previous Post
Next Post: Next Post »

Reader Interactions

Trackbacks

  1. Crushing Krisis » says:
    September 26, 2007 at 3:10 pm

    […] I had forgotten the smell that you smell when a piece of your tooth starts getting grinded down into obscurity, and the gentle numb pressure as you click your hollow teeth against one another, and how the drill sings flight of the bumblebee to you if you close your eyes, and how when you open them that light overexposed everything entirely. I haven’t had a cavity filled for nearly a decade, and that dusty gritty smell sent me back to third grade when everything was disconnected and my dentist was a cabin in the middle of the woods when compared the vast city when compared to my unassuming house on 64th street. Really it was just out in the suburbs and it had a small driveway and back then dense shrubbery constituted a forest of redwoods. My tongue is the most active part of my body and it always swirls and peeks around my mouth when i have something done to it. It swiped a tiny spy at the filling as my dentist turned away, and now i’m afraid i created some tiny pocket of insecurity and that everything will be able to infiltrate up to my brain if it can make it past my lips (which makes kissing scenes all the more dangerous). But, anyhow, i woke up at 6:30 and i’m playing the dreaded acoustic night with the same amount of cheery unpreparedness with with i approached it last time. Off i go. […]

Primary Sidebar


Support Crushing Krisis on Patreon
Support CK
on Patreon


Follow me on Twitter Contact me Watch me on Youtube Subscribe to the CK RSS Feed

About CK

About Crushing Krisis
About My Music
About Your Author
Blog Archive
Comics Blogs Only
Contact Krisis
Terms & Conditions

Crushing Comics

Marvel Comics

Marvel Events Guide

Spider-Man Guide

DC Comics

  • It’s gonna be May! Oh, wait, it’s ALREADY May…
    Hello, friends! Unfortunately, my non-CK life and […]
  • Drax GuideDrax Guide – now available to the public!
    Learn how the MCU merged several incarnations Drax into Dave Bautista's hyper-literal warrior with a vendetta agains Thanos in my Drax Guide! […]
  • Guide to GamoraGamora Guide – now available to the public!
    My Gamora Guide will help you find every Marvel comic starring Thanos's adopted daughter and the most dangerous woman in the galaxy! […]
  • Drag Race España Season 3, Episode 2 – “Drag Vision” Review & Power Rankings
    The queens of Drag Race España Season 3 make a collective stumble in this "Drag Vision" choreography challenge, earning the ire of the judges (though it's the kindest ire you'll ever see). […]
  • Star-Lord GuideStar-Lord Guide – now available to the public!
    Get ready for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 with my Star-Lord Guide, including every comics appearance of Marvel's TWO distinct Star-Lords! […]
  • Drag Race Sverige Season 1, Episode 8 – Sweden Grand Finale, “Queen Delicious” runway, & season retrospective
    It's the Drag Race Sweden Grand Finale! Our final three queens put their spin on an original song and walk a final "Queen Delicious" runway alongside their eliminated peers. […]
  • Adam Warlock GuideAdam Warlock Guide – now available to the public!
    Find the comics that inspired the plot of James Gunn's Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 in my Adam Warlock Guide - now available to the public for the first time! […]
  • Monica Rambeau: Photon (2022) #5 released by Marvel Comics April 26 2023New Comics & Collected Editions: Marvel Comics – April 26, 2023
    Catch up on newly-released comic books and collected editions from Marvel Comics April 26 2023, with guides to every title & character! […]
  • New for Patrons: Guide to Spider-Man 2099 (+ Guide to Marvel 2099!)
    Does Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse have you ready to read some Spider-Man 2099 comics? Use my Guide to Spider-Man 2099 to find every issue! […]
  • Updated: Guide to Exiles
    My Guide to Exiles is newly updated with an improved reading order, ISBNs, digital buy links, Marvel Unlimited reading links, and more! […]
  • Guide to Rocket RaccoonNew for Patrons: Guide to Rocket Raccoon
    Want to brush up on the comics origin of Rocket before the MCU tells their version? My Guide to Rocket Raccoon covers his EVERY appearance! […]
  • Drag Race España Season 3, Episode 1 – “Spain is Different” Review & Power Rankings
    Drag Race España Season 3 debuts by showing off its 13 queens (yes, we've added one) with a Supremme Talent Show and a "Spain is Different" runway. […]
  • Drag Race Sverige Season 1, Episode 7 – “Diva Assoluta” acting challenge Review & Power Rankings
    The Final 4 queens of Drag Race Sverige Season 1 bring their best performances to a Diva Assoluta acting challenge and a Drama Queen runway. […]
  • Tigereyes Most Wanted Marvel Omnibus 11th Annual Secret Ballot Results & Mappings
    Want to know the 61 books that ranked on the Tigereyes Most Wanted Marvel Omnibus 11th Annual Secret Ballot? I've got them all fully mapped! […]

Content Copyright ©2000-2023 Krisis Productions

Crushing Krisis participates in affiliate programs including (but not limited to): Amazon Services LLC Associates Program (in the US, UK, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, and Spain), eBay Partner Network, and iTunes Affiliate Program. If you make a qualifying purchase through an affiliate link I may receive a commission.