• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

  • DC Guides
    • DC Events
    • DC New 52
    • DC Rebirth
    • Batman Guide
    • The Sandman Universe
  • Marvel Guides
    • Marvel Events
    • Captain America Guide
    • Iron Man Guide
    • Spider-Man Guide (1963-2018)
    • Spider-Man Guide (2018-Present)
    • Thor Guide
    • X-Men Reading Order
  • Indie & Licensed Comics
    • Spawn
    • Star Wars Guide
      • Expanded Universe Comics (2015 – present)
      • Legends Comics (1977 – 2014)
    • Valiant Guides
  • Drag
    • Canada’s Drag Race
    • Drag Race Belgique
    • Drag Race Down Under
    • Drag Race Sverige (Sweden)
    • Drag Race France
    • Drag Race Philippines
    • Dragula
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars
  • Contact!
You are here: Home / Personal / off-topics / work / corporate / We Are The Goon Squad and We’re Coming to Town

We Are The Goon Squad and We’re Coming to Town

December 7, 2005 by krisis

I did it. I finally broke the seal. I got an Express credit card. I know, i know, it only means trouble. Trouble, debt, tight jeans, and hot reversible belts.

It really started out with the suit i bought at Express last month. At the time it was a desperation buy – i needed a new suit jacket, and i needed to locate it in a two hour span. I had no idea that Express suit jackets would fit me as if they were personally tailored… comparing it to the two other suits i have owned is like holding an undershirt up next to a knit poncho.

Although i’ve had it for over a month, i hadn’t worn the suit all in one piece – the jacket showed up with jeans, and the pants made an appearance at work, but i hadn’t combined the two in a real world environment until I finally wore it for an offsite meeting yesterday. Needless to say, i looked as sharp as a tack.

While admiring my sharp-as-hell self in a bathroom mirror, i began to ponder: Do i look this sharp all of the time? I pride myself on it when i go to bars, or attend parties, but not at work – where i spend the most time and where it matters the most. Most of my dress clothes wardrobe was cobbled together from co-op to co-op between 2001 and 2004, with just a few shirts added this year. The assortment features few spectacular outfits, but it isn’t especially interchangeable – too often all of my clean shirts hinge on being worn with a single pair of pants. The result is that at work i often look just as random and dumpy as an intern, my more evolved sense of style smothered underneath unfortunate color combinations and fabrics subjected to too many cycles in laundromat dryers.

I decided then and there (still admiring myself in the bathroom) that if i wanted to maintain my reputation as fashonista i had to aggressively defend my title. No more pants that are too old to hold a sharp crease. More shirts that match more pairs of pants. More incredibly sexy suit jackets. I spend over a third of my waking life working for a living and, by god, i can use that livelihood to make myself sharp while doing it.

Thus, tonight i traveled to Express. My stated purpose was buying just one more suit jacket so i didn’t proceed to wear the other into the ground. One suit jacket turned into one new suits and, after discovering that they were priced at 50%, one new suit turned to two plus complementary ties. After the better part of an hour i realized that the dreadful day i had always always known would come had arrived – my Express purchase was so large that the discount that opening an Express credit card would provide could not sanely be denied.

At this point my impending purchases had become voluminous enough that I had acquired a specific helper employee to help me shuttle it to and fro the register, and to tell me i looked hot. I queried, “Would it be really good for you if i opened a credit card?,” and her eyes lit up like high beams.

And, well, long story short is that I have a ridiculously high credit limit at Express (my helper let out a gasp when she saw it), i got a free-suit’s worth of discount, i made Jennifer’s eyes light up like high beams, and i now have an entirely new dress wardrobe including major support in the BIV division of my RGB spectrum. If i can’t manage to look sharp now i have nothing to blame other than bad fashion sense.

Filed Under: corporate, fashion, shopping, stories

Previous Post: « A Picture Share!
Next Post: A Picture Share! »

Primary Sidebar


Support Crushing Krisis on Patreon
Support CK
on Patreon


Follow me on BlueSky Follow me on Twitter Contact me Watch me on Youtube Subscribe to the CK RSS Feed

About CK

About Crushing Krisis
About My Music
About Your Author
Blog Archive
Comics Blogs Only
Contact Krisis
Terms & Conditions

Crushing Comics

Marvel Comics

Marvel Events Guide

Spider-Man Guide

DC Comics

  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - DC Universe Events Omnibus Mapping 2025Every Missing DC Universe Event Omnibus, Mapped | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Every missing DC Universe Event omnibus mapping from DC Comics to prepare for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - DC Villains Joker Omnibus MappingEvery Missing DC Villains Omnibus – Joker, Lex Luthor, Doomsday, & More, Mapped | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Missing DC Villains omnibus mapping - Joker, Doomsday, Lex Luthor, & more! - for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - DC Solo Heroes Q to Z The Spectre Omnibus MappingEvery Missing Question, Zatanna, Spectre Omnibus & More, Mapped | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Missing DC Hero Q-Z omnibus mapping - Question, Spectre, Zatana, & more - for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - DC Solo Heroes F to P Martian Manhunter Omnibus MappingEvery Missing Firestorm, Jonah Hex, Martian Manhunter Omnibus & More, Mapped | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Missing DC Hero F-P omnibus mapping - Firestorm, Jonah Hex, Martian Manhunter, & more - for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - DC Solo Heroes A to E Doctor Fate Omnibus MappingEvery Missing Blue Beetle, Doctor Fate, Deathstroke Omnibus & More, Mapped | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Missing DC Hero A-E omnibus mapping - Blue Beetle, Doctor Fate, Deathstroke, & more - for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - Superman Family Supergirl Omnibus MappingEvery Missing Superman Family Omnibus, Mapped – Superboy, Supergirl, & More! | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Every missing Superman Family omnibus mapping - including Supergirl & Superboy - from DC Comics for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - Superman Omnibus MappingEvery Missing Superman Omnibus, Mapped | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Every missing Superman omnibus mapping from DC Comics to prepare for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Every Missing Suicide Squad Omnibus, Mapped – plus, other DC Teams! | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Every missing Suicide Squad omnibus - plus other DC teams - mapping from DC Comics for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - Teen Titans Omnibus Mapping 2025Every Missing Teen Titans Omnibus, Mapped | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Every missing Teen Titans omnibus mapping (plus Young Justice) from DC Comics to prepare for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - Shazam Omnibus Mapping 2025Every Missing Shazam Omnibus, Mapped | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Every missing Shazam omnibus mapping from DC Comics to prepare for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - Legion of Super-Heroes Omnibus Mapping 2025Every Missing Legion of Super-Heroes Omnibus, Mapped | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Every missing Legion of Super-Heroes omnibus mapping from DC Comics to prepare for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - Green Lantern Omnibus Mapping 2025Every Missing Green Lantern Omnibus, Mapped | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Every missing Green Lantern omnibus mapping from DC Comics to prepare for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - Justice Society Omnibus Mapping 2025Every Missing Justice Society Omnibus, Mapped | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Every missing Justice Society omnibus mapping from DC Comics to prepare for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]
  • Most Wanted DC Omnibus - Justice League Omnibus Mapping 2025Every Missing Justice League Omnibus, Mapped | 2025 Tigereyes Most Wanted DC Omnibus Poll
    Every missing Justice League omnibus mapping from DC Comics - plus Trinity team-ups! - for the 2025 Tigereyes Most-Wanted DC Omnibus Poll. […]

Content Copyright ©2000-2023 Krisis Productions

Crushing Krisis participates in affiliate programs including (but not limited to): Amazon Services LLC Associates Program (in the US, UK, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, and Spain), eBay Partner Network, and iTunes Affiliate Program. If you make a qualifying purchase through an affiliate link I may receive a commission.