• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Crushing Krisis

The Newest Oldest Blog In New Zealand

  • DC Guides
    • DC Events
    • DC New 52
    • DC Rebirth
    • Batman Guide
    • The Sandman Universe
  • Marvel Guides
    • Marvel Events
    • Spider-Man Guide (1963-2018)
    • X-Men Reading Order
  • Indie & Licensed Comics
    • Spawn
    • Star Wars Guide
      • Expanded Universe Comics (2015 – present)
      • Legends Comics (1977 – 2014)
    • Valiant Guides
  • Drag
    • Canada’s Drag Race
    • Drag Race Down Under
    • Drag Race France
    • Drag Race Philippines
    • Dragula
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars
  • Archive
  • Contact!
You are here: Home / Personal / topics / memories / No More Wire Hangers

No More Wire Hangers

November 8, 2006 by krisis

What to say about my mother that is suitable to print in a public forum?

She and my father got married when she was the same age as I am. When she became pregnant just a few months later she decided that she had to learn everything about creating the best environment for a baby. And, I mean everything.

Think about it. It is nineteen eighty one. We are talking about a woman who David Bowie could have had arrested for stalking on more than one occasion. A woman who changed into a white pantsuit at her wedding reciption so she could fly across the ceiling of the club on a trapeeze. She and my father were both professional, fulltime bartenders. She was the only-child of lower-middle class parents, one of whom didn’t even finish grade school. She herself had barely found the interest to get through high school.

All of that just makes my mother’s baby initiative – and really my whole childhood – all the more amazing.

She did not take any aspect of her young motherhood for granted – she questioned everything. And, my mother discovered very quickly that just because something was socially accepted, or scholastically average, or even medically recommended, didn’t mean it was beneficial for a baby Peter.

Example #1 – I was not allowed to eat hotdogs or drink soda, and my father’s side of the family was determined to give me both. One one occasion I was convinced to eat half of a hot dog and – predictably – became sick. I have never seen my mother come so close as to devouring someone’s very soul as I did that night. SHE was the mother, and SHE said NO hotdogs, so THERE WOULD BE NO HOTDOGS.

To this day I don’t drink soda.

Example #2 – In first grade one of my classmates got placed into a mentally gifted program because he was smart. My mother pointed out that I was also smart, but got fed some sort of B.S. in reply about how I didn’t carry my numbers when I did addition in long columns. So, she had me tested in a controlled environment. When they checked my test they informed her that I hadn’t answered a tough word problem correctly. She pointed out that I had, but that I had just skipped showing my work because I used multiplication to solve the problem.

Example #3 – When I started visiting orthodontists to consult over my impending braces, one offhandedly told her he would have to pull out several teeth to make things work. I think she physically picked me up out of his chair to leave the office. I wound up without a single tooth pulled and a perfect smile.

Also, my mother never once patronized me just because I was a child – as soon as I was old enough to carry a conversation was expected to do so in all circumstances, and to make change for myself when we played Monopoly. And, so I did. I used to eschew naptime in kindergarten in favor of chatting about current events with the teachers. I watched the nightly news and Johnny Carson almost every night of my childhood.

In my anecdotes my mother is usually painted as comic relief, sometimes as a foil, and often as as a too-patronizing voice of reason. However, She will still devour your soul if you fuck with her, me, or her cat. She still has frighteningly good taste in music (David Bowie included).

And, much to my continual exasperation, she still questions just about everything.

Related posts:

  1. the big kids are in the next room
  2. 35-for-35: 1983 – “I’ll Tumble 4 Ya” by Culture Club

Filed Under: memories, NaBloPoMo Tagged With: mom

Previous Post: « Trio: Season Five, Suite #2!
Next Post: NaBloPoMo Round-Up #1: #s and As »

Reader Interactions

Trackbacks

  1. Crushing Krisis » I Slept On Top of the Sheets… says:
    November 18, 2006 at 10:32 pm

    […] Having introduced the trinity of my love, my mother, and my best friend, my cast of characters now widens considerably (though it stays predominantly female). […]

  2. Crushing Krisis » Plus, He Hangs Out With Santa says:
    November 20, 2006 at 1:02 am

    […] Having no child-skills to speak of, in my limited interactions with wee ones i just do what my mother did – treat them like fully functional small adults who are slightly hard of hearing. I don’t engage in baby-talk, and i don’t engage in little white lies about coal in stockings and Easter Bunnies. […]

Primary Sidebar


Support Crushing Krisis on Patreon
Support CK
on Patreon


Follow me on Twitter Contact me Watch me on Youtube Subscribe to the CK RSS Feed

About CK

About Crushing Krisis
About My Music
About Your Author
Blog Archive
Comics Blogs Only
Contact Krisis
Terms & Conditions

Crushing Comics

Marvel Comics

Marvel Events Guide

Spider-Man Guide

DC Comics

  • Marvel United Multiverse Age of Apocalypse - Kickstarter Exclusive BoxMarvel United: Multiverse enters the Age of Apocalypse! (plus, predicting the 10 most-likely expansion boxes)
    CMON's Marvel United: Multiverse - Age of Apocalypse brings more mutants to the game! What are the 10 next expansions we might see soon? […]
  • The Guide to Unstoppable WaspNew for Patrons: Guide to Unstoppable Wasp, Nadia van Dyne
    Who is The Unstoppable Wasp, and how did an elegant retcon from writer Mark Waid make her a different character than the MCU's Hope van Dyne? […]
  • Champions (2016) #1 variantGuide to The Champions – now available to the public!
    My Guide to The Champions is now available to everyone! Learn why Marvel abandoned this team concept after its 1977 cancellation until 2016. […]
  • Dolly told me I’m doing okay
    Do you know what happens when you run a lot, even when you hate every single second of doing it? Eventually, it gets easier. But, Dolly Parton doesn't always offer you encouragement when you shatter your personal record. […]
  • RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 15, Episode 4 – Snatch Game, Review & Power Ranking
    The double-size Season 15 Snatch Game gave us 14 celebrity impressions and a surprising amount of successes, though queens struggled with their "Beautiful Nightmare" runway prompt. […]
  • Marvel United: Multiverse makes more mutants, plus Inhumans enter the fray with War of Kings!
    The Marvel United: Multiverse campaign debuts a War of Kings box, and I tally a few hundred missing mutants they could add to the campaign. […]
  • Washington Post - New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern resigns ahead of electionA Surprise Farewell to Prime Minister Ardern
    It felt like Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern was personally keeping my family safe with her decisive actions on gun violence and COVID policy. Now that era is coming to a close. […]
  • Marvel United Multiverse Kickstarter Campaign ImageCMON’s Marvel United returns to Kickstarter with Marvel United: Multiverse!
    Board game publisher CMON is back on Kickstarter with a third wave of their delightful Marvel United game - and this time, it's multiversal! Their new campaign is for Marvel United: Multiverse! […]
  • mall-based time travel
    There are many things about New Zealand that delightfully feel retro to me, and that feeling is magnified whenever I visit a shopping mall. […]
  • Caught in the Act by Courtney ActCrushing On: Caught In The Act by Courtney Act (2022)
    Courtney Act's memoir Caught in the Act isn't just for Drag Race super fans. It's for anyone who has struggled to accept their own identity or success. […]
  • Updated: Guide to Cable
    My guide to Marvel's favorite time-hopping, Terminator-inspired mutant is now updated with comics and collections through the end of 2022! […]
  • RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 15, Episode 3 – “All Queens Go To Heaven” Review & Power Ranking
    The queens vie for RuPaul's most-raucous laughter as they produce a trio of "All Queens Go To Heaven" commercials about the queer afterlife in this rushed episode. […]
  • The D&D Open Gaming License / The Dangers of Playing with Other People’s Toys
    Sometimes it feels like being a fan of anything is an appointment with future disappointment. Playing with other people's toys can be dangerous. […]
  • an excerpt from the cover of X-Factor (1986) #71, covered in the Guide to X-FactorUpdated: Guide to X-Factor
    My revised and expanded Guide to X-Factor is better than ever with new collections, links to buy and read digitally, and recommended starting points! […]

Layout copyright © 2017 · Foodie Pro Theme by Shay Bocks · Built on the Genesis Framework · Powered by WordPress

Links from Crushing Krisis to retailer websites may be in the form of affiliate links. If you purchase through an affiliate link I will receive a minor credit as your referrer. My credit does not affect your purchase price. Affiliate programs and affiliations include, but are not limited to: Amazon Services LLC Associates Program (in the US, UK, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, and Spain), eBay Partner Network, and iTunes Affiliate Program.