• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Crushing Krisis

The Newest Oldest Blog In New Zealand

  • DC Guides
    • DC Events
    • DC New 52
    • DC Rebirth
    • Batman Guide
    • The Sandman Universe
  • Marvel Guides
    • Marvel Events
    • Spider-Man Guide (1963-2018)
    • X-Men Reading Order
  • Indie & Licensed Comics
    • Spawn
    • Star Wars Guide
      • Expanded Universe Comics (2015 – present)
      • Legends Comics (1977 – 2014)
    • Valiant Guides
  • Drag
    • Canada’s Drag Race
    • Drag Race Down Under
    • Drag Race France
    • Drag Race Philippines
    • Dragula
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars
  • Archive
  • Contact!
You are here: Home / consume / flicks / The Descent

The Descent

November 9, 2006 by krisis

I used to delight in being mean.

The focus of my anger didn’t really matter – a bag boy at the supermarket, a friend in conversation, a bus driver – as long as I vented my spleen at just the right moment. It was infamous and much-lamentedtrait of mine for many years; even Gina would roll her eyes when she saw that i was headed for a blowout.

Over the past few years my capacity for nastiness has been on a steady decline. Even when I summon up a decent fit of rage I usually swallow it, or at least soften the blow. And, not just for the benefit of my friends.

Over the summer I went to see The Descent, and in the fairly packed theatre I sat next to a friendly, cow-eyed middle-aged woman and her companion. She seemed like a decent enough neighbor, though during the previews she occasionally talked back to the screen. But, so do I.

As the movie progressed the talking-back morphed into a non-stop commentary track punctuated with pleas to her companion, like “I don’t know why you brought me to see this,” and “oh my god, you can’t leave me alone to go to the bathroom, I can’t take it. I just can’t take it.” I threw a few sideways glances her way, but she was oblivious in rapt, babbling horror.

Finally, during the first truly grisly scene in the movie her babbling transformed into incoherent gibbering screams, either at the characters on screen or just for her own benefit. Either way, she was significantly louder than the theatre’s surround sound, and I was not missing part of the movie just to get an usher.

Calm and collected, i turned to face the incoherent beast.

“Could you be quieter than the fucking characters in the movie?”

I immediately regreted venting at this creature of an obviously lower personal fortitude than my own. She turned to face me with her horrified, watery cow-eyes, mouth working open and closed like a guppy. She had no verbal reaction, just the “blurp, blurp, blurp” of her jowls working.

Over time my peers have developed an immunity to my scathing remarks, but clearly I had destroyed this creature’s will to live. I had to do something to bring her back from the brink.

“I’m sorry, you’re just really loud.”

She kept guppying at me, accompanying the guppying with her watery wide-eyed stare. I tried to go back to watching the (excellent) movie, but her stare kept nudging me in the side of the head.

I had become more horrifically transfixing than the golum-monsters on screen. I had ruined her movie experience with my meanness. She just wanted to go out to the movies and yammer like a mental patient because she has no coping mechanism to deal with horror but would be the oldest kid in the theatre for The Ant Bully. Who was I to impose society’s artificial standards about being quiet at the movies on her
As the on-screen violence continued I calmly, sweetly, turned back to my (still-staring) neighbor. One of my professors was a fan of a communications theory where other people would agree with you more strongly if you aligned your bodily reactions (like rates of breathing and blinking) with theirs. It was time for a field test.

I carefully matched her cow-stare and her guppy-breathing until I felt that we had reached a state of true simpatico. Gulping down some air and willing my eyes into giant, mooning saucers, I whispered, “I know, it’s really scary.”

Borderline cow-woman bit her lip and nodded at me. I bit my own lip and nodded along. I had established a connection. Slowly, still maintaining eye contact, still in-character as a cow/guppy with borderline personality disorder, I turned back towards the screen.

As if by magic, or a complex system of gears and pulleys, she also turned back towards the screen. I completed my turn in slow motion, finally breaking eye contact when it felt as if my pupil was going to slide back into my head.

She didn’t make another noise or even remotely glance at me for the remainder of the movie, or afterwards when we filed out. Yet, it was a pyrrhic victory, because I felt the need to temper a successful flare-up at a stranger who was screaming incoherently at a movie screen with an apology. You know, so her feelings wouldn’t be too hurt.

Old-school me would have pressed my attack until she ran sobbing from the theatre.

Of course, I wouldn’t have accumulated any good karma that way.

I like to think that present-day me strives to at least break even on karma, which means i only get to be unapolgetically nasty to someone who really deserves it. And, much to my chagrin, talkers at the movies, along with litterers and people who smoke next to you at the bus stop, are just innocent bystanders minding their own lives.

No related posts.

Filed Under: flicks, NaBloPoMo, stories, Year 07

Previous Post: « NaBloPoMo Round-Up #1: #s and As
Next Post: A Picture Share! »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Mit_Moi says

    November 13, 2006 at 11:21 pm

    *gulp* *gulp*, *eye-blink, eye-blink* You mean you didn’t UNDERSTAND the terror?

    Well, I hope you NEVER sit next to me again in anther movie. *Huff*

    (although – I do live 500 miles away, so maybe it wasn’t you … You big bully!) *wink*

  2. krisis says

    November 13, 2006 at 11:36 pm

    Oh, i was definitely terrified. It was definitely the most terrifying thing i have ever seen, and it still terrifies me every time i watch a movie that has a scene underground, or even in a dark broom-closet. I just didn’t express that terror in primitive, dog-like yelps every time something could be heard moving off frame ;)

Trackbacks

  1. Crushing Krisis » What I Found In the Shade says:
    November 29, 2006 at 12:48 am

    […] That’s the short of this story. The details are almost immaterial. I left a whiny grump and returned not. Sure, i’ve whined and grumped a little since then, but i can’t summon up the same intensity of either, or of meanness, as i’ve already mentioned. […]

Primary Sidebar


Support Crushing Krisis on Patreon
Support CK
on Patreon


Follow me on Twitter Contact me Watch me on Youtube Subscribe to the CK RSS Feed

About CK

About Crushing Krisis
About My Music
About Your Author
Blog Archive
Comics Blogs Only
Contact Krisis
Terms & Conditions

Crushing Comics

Marvel Comics

Marvel Events Guide

Spider-Man Guide

DC Comics

  • Cable Math & Maps: Collected Issue Counting and Future Omnibus Mapping
    it's time for mathing and mapping Cable! How much of Cable has been collected from his 1990 debut onward, including his pre-history? And, how could it all fit into Omnibus? […]
  • Marvel United Multiverse Kickstarter - Annihilation BoxMarvel United: Multiverse adds Annihilation (plus, 20 potential Marvel Event expansions and their predicted contents)
    I perfectly predicted this new Marvel United Multiverse expansion box and all its contents, so what do my psychic powers say about the remainder of the campaign? […]
  • Guide to Spider-Man comics from 2018 to present day – now available to the public!
    Peter Parker has had a massive 5 years in comics, from Nick Spencer's Amazing Spider-Man run to Zeb Wells spinning Dark Web and the Summer of Symbiotes. Find every issue from 2018 to present day in this new guide! […]
  • X-Men Vote 2023 - Polls Are Open NowElect your favorite mutant with Marvel’s annual X-Men Vote! #xmenvote
    It's time for the third annual X-Men Vote to determine one new permanent member of the flagship X-Men team. Let's meet the six candidates and discuss the pros and cons of each one. […]
  • Marvel United Multiverse Secret Invasion Box KickstarterMarvel United: Multiverse adds a Secret Invasion expansion (plus, 20 events that could be expansion boxes!)
    CMON announced a surprising Marvel United Multiverse Secret Invasion expansion, which raises a question: What other events are still to come? I've got 20 suggestions for them. […]
  • New for Patrons: Guide to Wasp, Janet van Dyne
    This Guide to Wasp follows Janet van Dyne through her 60-year Marvel Comics history, from founding Avenger to finally getting own own series! […]
  • my weighted blanket is hungry
    Me getting 8hrs of fitful sleep doesn't seem to be enough to satiate the hunger of my new 10kg beast of a weighted blanket. […]
  • RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 15, Episode 5 – House of Fashion, Review & Power Ranking
    It's Drag Race Fashion Week in this unconventional materials design challenge with a twist: the queens are split into three groups and have to present cohesive runway collections. […]
  • Breaking News: D&D continues support of Open Gaming License (OGL 1.0), releases their core rules SRD under Creative Commons
    Breaking news! Dungeons & Dragons made the shocking announcement that they're keeping OGL v1.0 and releasing SRD 5.1 under Creative Commons! […]
  • Marvel United Multiverse Civil War Box KickstarterMarvel United: Multiverse has a Civil War in their new expansion box (and uses it to solve their Young Avengers problem)
    All out war breaks loose in CMON's Marvel United Multiverse Civil War expansion set, adding several classic Avengers and a new PVP play mode. […]
  • The Reading Order Guide to Excalibur - image from Excalibur (1988) #1Updated: Guide to Excalibur
    My updated Reading Order Guide to Excalibur adds several new collections, including big Epic Collection news! […]
  • X-Factor Math & Maps: Collected Issue Counting and Future Omnibus Mapping
    it's time for mathing and mapping X-Factor! How much of X-Factor been collected from its start in February 1986 to the team's most-recent appearance Dec 2021? And, how could it all fit into Omnibus? […]
  • Marvel United Multiverse Age of Apocalypse - Kickstarter Exclusive BoxMarvel United: Multiverse enters the Age of Apocalypse! (plus, predicting the 10 most-likely expansion boxes)
    CMON's Marvel United: Multiverse - Age of Apocalypse brings more mutants to the game! What are the 10 next expansions we might see soon? […]
  • The Guide to Unstoppable WaspNew for Patrons: Guide to Unstoppable Wasp, Nadia van Dyne
    Who is The Unstoppable Wasp, and how did an elegant retcon from writer Mark Waid make her a different character than the MCU's Hope van Dyne? […]

Layout copyright © 2017 · Foodie Pro Theme by Shay Bocks · Built on the Genesis Framework · Powered by WordPress

Links from Crushing Krisis to retailer websites may be in the form of affiliate links. If you purchase through an affiliate link I will receive a minor credit as your referrer. My credit does not affect your purchase price. Affiliate programs and affiliations include, but are not limited to: Amazon Services LLC Associates Program (in the US, UK, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, and Spain), eBay Partner Network, and iTunes Affiliate Program.