• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

  • DC Guides
    • DC Events
    • DC New 52
    • DC Rebirth
    • Batman Guide
    • The Sandman Universe
  • Marvel Guides
    • Marvel Events
    • Captain America Guide
    • Iron Man Guide
    • Spider-Man Guide (1963-2018)
    • Spider-Man Guide (2018-Present)
    • Thor Guide
    • X-Men Reading Order
  • Indie & Licensed Comics
    • Spawn
    • Star Wars Guide
      • Expanded Universe Comics (2015 – present)
      • Legends Comics (1977 – 2014)
    • Valiant Guides
  • Drag
    • Canada’s Drag Race
    • Drag Race Belgique
    • Drag Race Down Under
    • Drag Race Sverige (Sweden)
    • Drag Race France
    • Drag Race Philippines
    • Dragula
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars
  • Archive
  • Contact!
You are here: Home / consume / food / very serious donuts

very serious donuts

July 4, 2009 by krisis

It is almost ten in the morning, and I am eating a bacon donut.

Kat and Jeremy currently farm enough to support three or four families, but they have enough eggs to stock said three families, a small market, and a donut shop.

Conveniently, Kat works at a donut shop. It’s actually the nearest landmark to their house, which was convenient on Thursday when we had been driving for eight hours and discovered that state roads in Vermont don’t have a lot of clearly labeled cross streets.

If my biggest weak spot of culinary frivolity is ice cream, donuts are not too far behind. As a kid I would clench my entire body in genuflecting hope every time our car passed the Dunkin’ Donuts. I was under the impression that was the only source of donuts. Like, in the world.

Now, I know better – I know that homemade donuts are a different beast entirely. On certain Fridays my boss brings in a particular kind that – if I should be bold enough to eat a filled variety – causes me to lose my voice for over an hour.

They are serious donuts.

So, when Kat mentioned that she worked part time at (and supplied eggs to) the donut shop down the road, my Fouth of July plans solidified: I would spend the morning eating donuts, perhaps bookended by a tacit jog to and from the shop to give the illusion of offsetting the 1000+ calories of breakfast I’d be consuming.

Such is the story, and here I am at Trademark-Infringement Donuts. I don’t want to advertise the name, as they’ve been flying under the legal radar thus far. Let’s call them “Funkin’ Donuts.”

Here is today’s Funkin’ Donuts menu:

  • Cinnamon Sugar
  • Honey Glaze
  • Maple Caramel
  • Plum Homer *
  • Beet Homer *
  • Chocolate
  • Maple-Bacon
  • Lemon-Poppyseed
  • Orange Sourcream
  • Cake

    * Homer donuts are crafted to look as similar to the legendary Simpson’s donut as possible. The Beet Homer has beet icing. I am eating it presently. It’s great.

    However, it is the Maple-Bacon donut that approaches the donut hall-of-fame. It is a plain, circular donut with a middle hole, iced liberally with light-brown maple icing, and sprinkled with bacon sprinkles from local pigs.

    My meat-avoidance is pretty specifically predicated on a distaste for pork, but when we’re talking about less than an ounce of bacon from a local pig probably well-cared-for enough that he had a name I can make a brief exception.

    And that exception was really, really good.

    I’m going to spend the rest of the morning celebrating America by seeing how many donuts I can eat in one day (previously: 10), talking to Kat about her neighbor’s diabetic cat, and plotting a concert I’m going to play in the donut shop when I come back in the fall.

    Related posts:

    1. Crushing On Crushing Krisis

  • Filed Under: food, Year 09 Tagged With: vermont

    Previous Post: « Weekending
    Next Post: holiday tsunami »

    Reader Interactions

    Trackbacks

    1. Crushing Krisis › back on the farm says:
      September 4, 2012 at 7:03 pm

      […] we last visited in 2009 there was no new-old farm or pretty-new baby, and I became obsessed with the local donuts and unexpectedly played a […]

    Primary Sidebar


    Support Crushing Krisis on Patreon
    Support CK
    on Patreon


    Follow me on Twitter Contact me Watch me on Youtube Subscribe to the CK RSS Feed

    About CK

    About Crushing Krisis
    About My Music
    About Your Author
    Blog Archive
    Comics Blogs Only
    Contact Krisis
    Terms & Conditions

    Crushing Comics

    Marvel Comics

    Marvel Events Guide

    Spider-Man Guide

    DC Comics

    • UPDATED: Wolverine, Logan
    • New Comics & Collected Editions: Marvel Comics – September 20, 2023
      Catch up on newly-released comic books and collected editions from Marvel Comics September 20 2023, with guides to every title & character! […]
    • New for Patrons: Guide to Monica Rambeau – Photon, Spectrum, & Captain Marvel
      It's time to shine a light on a Guide to Monica Rambeau. She's been Photon, Spectrum, & even Captain Marvel. Read EVERY issue in order. […]
    • Guide to Avengers (1963-1996)Updated: Guide to Avengers (1963-1996)
      Happy Anniversary to Marvel's Avengers! To celebrate I rebuilt my definitive guide to Avengers (1963-1996), including EVERY issue & collection. […]
    • Silver Age X-Men GuideUpdated: Silver Age X-Men Guide
      I've updated my definitive Silver Age X-Men Guide to collected editions of the earliest X-Men comics, including a new Penguin Classics & Taschen editions. […]
    • Guide to Conan the BarbarianUpdated: Guide to Conan The Barbarian
      I've overhauled my Guide to Conan the Barbarian to celebrate the release of Titan Comics' new Conan the Barbarian series written by Jim Zub. […]
    • Avengers Inc. (2023) #1 by Al Ewing & Leonard Kirk, released by Marvel Comics September 13 2023New Comics & Collected Editions: Marvel Comics – September 13, 2023
      Catch up on newly-released comic books and collected editions from Marvel Comics September 13 2023, with guides to every title & character! […]
    • Guide to Birds of PreyNew for Patrons: Guide to Birds of Prey
      Who are the Birds of Prey? Learn what cast members define one of DC's signature team with my Guide to Birds of Prey! […]
    • Fantastic Four (2022) #11 released by Marvel Comics September 6 2023New Comics & Collected Editions: Marvel Comics – September 6, 2023
      Catch up on newly-released comic books and collected editions from Marvel Comics September 6 2023, with guides to every title & character! […]
    • It’s gonna be May! Oh, wait, it’s ALREADY May…
      Hello, friends! Unfortunately, my non-CK life and […]
    • Drax GuideDrax Guide – now available to the public!
      Learn how the MCU merged several incarnations Drax into Dave Bautista's hyper-literal warrior with a vendetta agains Thanos in my Drax Guide! […]
    • Guide to GamoraGamora Guide – now available to the public!
      My Gamora Guide will help you find every Marvel comic starring Thanos's adopted daughter and the most dangerous woman in the galaxy! […]
    • Drag Race España Season 3, Episode 2 – “Drag Vision” Review & Power Rankings
      The queens of Drag Race España Season 3 make a collective stumble in this "Drag Vision" choreography challenge, earning the ire of the judges (though it's the kindest ire you'll ever see). […]
    • Star-Lord GuideStar-Lord Guide – now available to the public!
      Get ready for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 with my Star-Lord Guide, including every comics appearance of Marvel's TWO distinct Star-Lords! […]

    Content Copyright ©2000-2023 Krisis Productions

    Crushing Krisis participates in affiliate programs including (but not limited to): Amazon Services LLC Associates Program (in the US, UK, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, and Spain), eBay Partner Network, and iTunes Affiliate Program. If you make a qualifying purchase through an affiliate link I may receive a commission.