Crushing Krisis

The Newest Oldest Blog In New Zealand

flying

no fear of flying

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In less than twelve hours I will jump out of a plane.

I’ve wanted to skydive for a long time. Forever? Since before I started having the flying dreams, I think, so frequent and tangible that the power of personal flight started to feel familiar.

The flying – the being high above the ground part – is familiar. Even the rushing quickly towards the ground part, because, honestly, sometimes I am not quite so pro at the dream-flying. It always turns out okay.

The voluntarily leaping out of a plane in midair, no so familiar.

Mildly terrifying, actually.

That’s the paradox. There’s this thing I want to do, and I know I’m going to love it because I’ve dreamt of it for years. Yet there’s the tiny problem of getting underway. One second of hard part – the difficulty of taking one step and letting gravity take its course, and then fifteen thousand feet of dream.

That first step is the only thing I’m afraid of. At the moment. And not just tomorrow. In general. I’m afraid of single steps, but obsessed with what comes after.

Just afraid of that one step.

Poll me again on that one in the morning.

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After that the night just got rather random. Elise and I spoke to Ariel briefly after the show, and he told us to meet him at the cast party at 4am, when they’d be done striking the set. Which left us with about four hours to kill. First we attended a drunken dorm room bash where i was aghast at the amount of making-out that was occurring until i was informed that all the couples were really couples. After that there was some french homework, a discussion of the history of theatre, Festivus ice cream, and a guy from my senior prom table. Eventually we did wind up at the cast party, where i was so tired i could barely keep up my facial communication skills, let alone my verbal ones. Ariel arrived, we chatted with him, and then left. Elise and i parted ways at her apartment (after i thanked her for baby-sitting me through a night at Penn) and i walked home, occasionally pretending i could fly.

https://www.crushingkrisis.com/2000/11/1344310/

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They say flying in dreams is a sign of sexual frustration. Which, for a while was making sense, but the way that they’ve been coming and going recently have absolutely no connection to my groin, so it’s gotta be something else. I mean, if it was really a sign of sexual frustration, i’d probably actually think i could fly… maybe that’s why people jump off of buildings?

https://www.crushingkrisis.com/2000/10/1087547/

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Now that i’m blogging pretty regularly, i’ve stopped having those dreams. Of course, i haven’t been having my flying dreams either. The dream i had last night involved a ferret doing deathly combat with the gopher from Caddyshack while i tried to stay out of their way. Also, someone kidnapped God. That wasn’t really too important, though. I think i found him towards the end.

https://www.crushingkrisis.com/2000/10/1087446/