Crushing Krisis

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The new bandwagon. Three or Five are false, depending on if you read them very literally or not. Enjoy the contemplation. Hints forthcoming:

  1. I have had exactly one serious scrape or cut, ever, and it wasn’t even that serious.
  2. I used to have a foot fetish before i understood what was supposed to be attractive about people.
  3. In my life i have consumed under 1 gallon combined of beer and/or cola.
  4. I still fit into my first pair of jeans.
  5. Before this year i had cried exactly twice since i left grade school.
  6. I haven’t shared a residence with more than one person at a time since i was 4.
  7. I was the reigning math word-problem champion in our Christian School League for two years running.
  8. I have never eaten a cut of steak other than fillet mignon when i was little, because my mom liked it.
  9. I have never been outside of this time zone.
  10. For the duration of highschool i claimed i had my first and only kiss to that point playing spin the bottle in 7th grade to avoid further romantic scrutiny.
  11. Until next year i will have spent a third of my life on welfare, a fifth of my life in braces, and nearly half my life without ever having a friend enter my bedroom.
  12. I learned to subtract from playing Monopoly.
  13. After my 5th birthday I have had a birthday party every even-numbered year of my life, until this year broke the streak.
  14. I briefly organized my 200+ cd spines to make a color spectrum, but the stress of having both black, gray and white Tori Amos cds made me give it up.
  15. Up until i stopped knowing what i wanted to be, i wanted to be a veterinarian.
  16. I was the worst reader in my first grade class.
  17. A girl kissed me approximately 3 years, 2 months, and 2 hours after when i originally asked a girl if she’d kiss me.
  18. The first time i was ever on stage i didn’t want to be there, and i forgot all of the words.
  19. In fifth grade i was the only student who decided to drop music class in favor of private (non-musical) study.
  20. I haven’t thrown up since 7th grade save for one nasty experience with Aftershock.
  21. I refused to wear anything coloured navy to the point of a temper tantrum until it became one of my school colors last year.
  22. Both girls i’ve ever asked out on a date wound up kissing my best friends.

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  1. […] #6 is true. I haven’t shared a residence with more than one person at a time since i was 4. My parents separated when i was four, and since i’ve gotten to college i’ve only had one roommate at a time. This streak looks as though it will be broken next year, since we’re looking at 4-bedroom houses. […]

  2. […] #18 is true. The first time i was ever on stage i didn’t want to be there, and i forgot all of the words. Okay… this one is a little fudgy, but it holds up. I had obviously been on stage before this experience, whether it be to accept my treasured Christian leauge math awards (i obviously intend to bring that Christmas shows. However, that’s not where it gets fudgy; the first two times i was a featured performer on a stage was playing my recorder in fifth grade, and narrating a part of a play in fifth grade. Both events had to have happened in fifth grade because i associate them with the same teacher, and they both had to have happened at the Christmas show because the only other show was the Sping show and that was done by the middle school that year. So, i’m going on the basic assumption that the narration occurred before the recorder playing, but either way this works out because i definitely remember not wanting to play the recorder and not knowing what i was playing while i was onstage.up once a day now), or to stand way in the background of the chorus in silly school […]

  3. […] #3 is true. In my life i have consumed under 1 gallon combined of beer and/or cola. I can tell you nearly exactly how much beer i’ve ever had… 20oz. of Old English, 16oz of Corona, 8oz at the PNE convention, and various other tiny amounts of beer that total well under an additional 20oz. That’s half a gallon. As for cola, i’m only referring to Pepsi/Coke, and not gingerale, seltzer, ect. I had a glass of coca cola once on a very hot day when it was the only thing available, and otherwise i’ve never had more than a mistaken sip through a straw once or twice a year. I’ve always hated soda, because it tastes horrible, it’s carbonated, and it has absolutely zero redeeming healthy qualities. In my mind, it should be restricted to consenting adults as much as cigarettes and beer, because as long as the government sees fit to tell people what they can and cannot do we really ought to try to make our nation’s children a little healther in the process. […]

  4. […] #13 is false. After my 5th birthday I have not had a birthday party every even-numbered year of my life, until this year broke the streak. Actually, after my fifth birthday i have not ever had a birthday party until this year broke the streak. Corroborating evidence can be found here, and congrats to Benjy for figuring this one out. I went to the birthday party of a girl i really liked in first grade. It was at St. Monica’s bowling alley, and i think nearly our entire class wound up attending. I remember coming home from there and telling my mother that i didn’t like birthday parties, because they were just excuses to have people bring you gifts or for them to look bad if they didn’t. And, from that point forward, i neither had nor attended another birthday party (or any other party, for that matter) until i became less anti-social in middle school. However, i still never had a party because my birthday is so very early in the school year, and because i tend to be uncomfortable as the deliberate focus of attention of a group of people unless i’m actually doing something more noteworthy then getting slowly and inexorably older. This past year’s parties weren’t so bad, since the focus of the first one was mostly playing frisbee and the focus of the second one was margaritas. This year there’s talk of kegs of Raspberry CiderJack and relentless live music. Be afraid (or, just get invited ;) […]

  5. […] #15 is true. Up until i stopped knowing what i wanted to be, i wanted to be a veterinarian. I knew it, and my whole family knew it, and it was a fact. Then, high school came along. Biology… not a problem. Math… not my favourite, but doable. However, definitely the class that put me off to any career in the sciences was the dreaded Chemistry. Granted, i actually enjoy Chemistry a good deal more than it’s ugly sidekick Physics, but our school’s Chemistry teacher was nearly certifiably insane and all i ever learned from her is how to make sourpatch kids burst into coloured flames and launch across the room. From the first quarter of Sophomore year onwards, i knew that my being a puppy-doctor was out of the question (also, my dear mother had the presence of mind to point out that i am deathly afraid of dogs over a third of my body weight or with teeth significantly larger than mine). I slowly edged away from it… first saying i would be a psychiatrist (could you picture me in med school? what a train wreck that would’ve been), then downgrading to a psychologist (i was pretty serious about that until i found out that psychology majors don’t usually wind up as psychologists), and then just winding up undecided in my Senior year of highschool (which definitely hurt my college application process, but oh well). […]

  6. […] #7 is true. Just because i haven’t taken math for two years now and probably won’t ever again doesn’t mean i wasn’t good at it at some point. Up until the dreaded geometry i could do no wrong mathematically, but when we had competitions in math i liked the word problems because they were logic and math. Anyone could brute force their way through a computations exam, but the logic exam required a more expert touch. Or, at least i had convinced my tiny third grader brain of that. The third year we had a huge blizzard the day of the competition and wound up taking our tests via mail, and i placed fourth. I think that’s when i stopped liking math. This was written by krisis. Posted on Friday, June 1, 2001, at 10:11 am. Filed under memories, stories. Bookmark the permalink. Follow comments here with the RSS feed. Post a comment or leave a trackback. […]

  7. […] #17 is true. A girl kissed me aproximately 3 years, 2 months, and 2 hours after when i originally asked a girl if she’d kiss me. Of course, i always remember wanting to kiss girls, from when i was very little. When i was five we went to Disney World, and there was one rather boring ride on a boat and i just remember that the most adorable girl was sitting across from me but i was afraid to look right at her because i felt like she would immediately know i was staring at her and i’d look like some dorky little five year old just smiling dumbly at the cutest six year old ever. So, yeah, i was setting up for romantic disaster very early on in life. Anyhow, the girl who never kissed me was Juliana, and while i didn’t ask her to kiss me outright i would like to point out that our faces were very near to each other and it had never crossed my mind to kiss anyone ever before then in such an immediate fashion. So, while the actual question posed was whether or not she’d ever consider going on a date with me, it was only asked because the question we’re focusing on had been asked and answered in that are faces were still just near to each other. But, anyhow, we just wound up sharing lip gloss, and the rest is history. As for my first kiss, it’s a topic i dance around constantly on this log without ever actually talking about it, because i talked about it entirely too much when it first happened. As you can easily see, i have no concept of secrets when it comes to myself so i didn’t think to keep my mouth shut about kissing someone – never thinking about if the someone would prefer me to keep my mouth just slightly less ajar than it was. I suppose it would have been better if i just continued to watch the replay of it in my head and not replay it for everyone else, but decisions are decisions and no one was hurt by any of it and life goes on (without us ever ever kissing again). So… no links to point you towards for this one, but if you’re a regular reader i’ll tie it all together for you; these three events coincide: first kiss, new years 2000, & “under my skin.” Happy now? This was written by krisis. Posted on Friday, June 1, 2001, at 12:09 am. Filed under Year 1, flirt, memories, stories, under my skin. Bookmark the permalink. Follow comments here with the RSS feed. Post a comment or leave a trackback. […]

  8. […] #20 is true. I was never very sick as a child, and by the time i got into middle school the only kind of illness i ever had was the flu or issues with my tonsils – never a stomach bug. I very clearly remember the last time i threw up in my own home, which had to be at age ten or eleven sitting on my mother’s hope chest with our big manila-colored basin sitting next to me. But, anyway, save for my first experience with how not to get drunk, i haven’t thrown up ever since, and i can hardly even remember what it’s like. Unpleasant, i’m sure. This was written by krisis. Posted on Thursday, May 31, 2001, at 10:41 pm. Filed under memories. Bookmark the permalink. Follow comments here with the RSS feed. Post a comment or leave a trackback. […]

  9. […] #14 is true. Come on, people, i’m a record addict. After reading the War Against Silence entries concerning the ordering of records and reading Hi Fidelity cover to cover in a matter of hours, i decided i needed an eclectic but fun way to organize my albums so that i always had a decent selection to pick from on any shelf. So, i took all the discs down from the shelf and started messing around with ten random discs that i had been listening to a lot recently. After a little idle experimentation (well, this whole ordeal is rather idle, isn’t it?) i decided ordering albums by the predominant color of their spines would be fun. However, once i had my 50 most played discs on the shelf i realized that Tori Amos was going to occupy the first, last, and middle spots of my collection, and that the plan was entirely unfeasible because if just three of her discs were already spread out that far then the addition of her twenty-some singles would cause me to have a heart attack trying to find all the beesides to make mix tapes with. The plan was thusly abandoned. This was written by krisis. Posted on Thursday, May 31, 2001, at 7:18 pm. Filed under stories, tori. Bookmark the permalink. Follow comments here with the RSS feed. Post a comment or leave a trackback. […]