Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

Archives for May 2010

Phillyist votes a qualified “NO” on Philly promoter bill (#100267)

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Short version: Phillyist used me a source for an article about the proposed Philly promoter bill! They agree with me that the bill is well-intentioned but misguided, and will likely do more harm than good to the city and its blossoming music scene.

Longer version:

Over the past two weeks Philly performers and promoters have been up in arms about a Philadelphia City Council bill (#100267) proposed on April 22 that would require local venues and promoters to be more closely licensed and monitored.

How closely? The following passage is drawing most of the ire:

A Promoter of an event must obtain a promoted event permit from the Police Commissioner for each such event. Application for such promoted event permit shall be made in writing to the captain of the police district in which the event is to take place at least thirty days prior to such event …

The application shall be deemed approved unless it is
denied at least ten days prior to such event.

…must include all of the following:
(i) The promoter’s business privilege license number;
(ii) A detailed security plan…
(iii) A copy of the written contract between the promoter and special assembly occupancy licensee.

Speaking anecdotally from personal experience, let’s just say that I’m not always booked 30 days in advance, the promoter is often me or a friend putting something together on a lunch break, that our shows don’t usually require private security, and that I very rarely have a written contract to refer to as an artist or a promoter!

I have a lot of other things to say about the bill, and how it would have completely altered my opportunities as a musician as well as a promoter for our festival and #blamedrewscancer. While that opinion continues to brew into a post, Joe Ross of Phillyist did a great job of distilling my rambling to two succinct soundbites:

Peter is in support of the petition to kill the bill because it appears to limit the opportunities available to the local music scene, saying that “to try to legislate every performance takes away a lot of those opportunities — not only for artists, but for indie venues and promoters.”

Peter also had doubts about the solution we suggested above. He told us “that might just encourage known promoters to charge new, indie artists and promoters to use them by proxy. The entire system invites abuse.”

For more background on the bill, the petition, and how the two can be reconciled, check out Phillyist’s entire article on the topic.

(Also, many thanks to Joe for the multiple-platform shoutout to both my musicianship and my blogging!)

The Human Calculator

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When I go out to eat I am imbued with a special power – restaurant food renders me as THE HUMAN CALCULATOR!

Okay, not really. It’s just that I do quick math in my head all of the time, and compared to the amortization schedules I’ve been juggling lately calculating tips is hardly a challenge.

Why do people need calculators to do this! Here’s an example, from a recent five-person lunch outing that was totally not unique in that I acted as the human calculator.

I know and you know I simply have to multiply the check amount by one plus whatever the tip amount is, but I am the sort of person who does math in chunks. Thus:

The bill was $123.
10% is $12.30, so…
20% is $24.60.
We didn’t want to tip 20%, just 18%…
So, subtract 10% ($1.23) twice from $24.60.
After rounding, the tip is $22, meaning…
the total bill is $145, and we would each pay…
$29 total.

I did that in my head once in about 17 seconds, and then mentally checked my math before people were done with the tip calculator programs on their cell phones. And then they didn’t trust me because I used 18% instead of 20% and rounded by .14 cents, so they calculated it AGAIN!

And then they were like, “Whoa, you totally did that in your head.”

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! I’m all for computers and smart phones and iPads, but have we seriously become a nation that is so terrifyingly awful at math that we’re intimidated by leaving a tip?! Move the decimal over one place, double that (or, add half if the service was bad), and adjust if necessary. The end.

No wonder mortgage lenders expected me to roll over and play dead whenever they’d change their offer to something seemingly lower. Maybe mere mortals would be tricked, but not THE HUMAN CALCULATOR.

Arcati Crisis Update: new tunes, Muse, summer shows

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Gina and I held an epic-lengthed Arcati Crisis rehearsal last night.

Not only was it our first rehearsal after her run acting in Ms. Reardon Drinks a Little (which I helped her costume), but it was our first chance to catch up on various life and house news in person after two completely insane weeks.

After a slow start to the year, we’ve had an awesome few months as Arcati Crisis – three great shows in the last four months. We’re in good practice and good voice, too. So, why rehearse, rather than head out to an open mic?

The awful truth is, we have only learned one new song in the past 12 months – “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” We’ve effectively been a band touring behind an album, our late-2008 Live @ Rehearsal, Vol. 4. We only have two tunes newer than that release that in our repertoire – “Better” and “Holy Grail” – and both were in regular set rotation by this time last year.

It’s scary to think of us as having an “established” repertoire to tour behind for an entire year. I have musical ADHD – I hate playing the same songs all of the time. My solo material bears this out – the only thing that I play more than 50% of the time is my cover of “Like a Virgin!” Also, lack-of-attention-span aside, we need some new cover-tune artillery to shock and awe our regular audiences with.

As a result, last night we started on the biggest-ever group of new tunes since our inception – five of them! Two originals from me, two new covers (partially derived from fan feedback), and the newest one from Gina.

The one I’m most excited about is “Dumbest Thing I Could Do,” which is my acoustic version of a slutty dance song. I wrote it at the piano, influenced half by Lady Gaga and half by Heart. Gina has already lent it an entire additional layer of funk via harmony and Bee Gee’s style low guitar riffs.

I’m also intrigued by our lark into Muse’s “Starlight.” We don’t usually perform contemporary covers (our only one is “Falling Slowly”), but after hearing Gina deliver a incandescent version of this at a recent night of karaoke I knew we had to give it a try.

The original is devoid of harmony, so I spent a few evenings arranging vocals for each section of the song. They were murder to sing along to the CD or with E, but when Gina and I ran through the song I hit most of them in a single try. It was pretty obvious where I had selected some bum notes, and Gina quickly amended them and added an awesome portion of counterpoint.

(BTW, here is a freaking awesome video of Muse playing Starlight live @ Abbey Road Studios.)

The other cover needs more of an Arcati touch before I talk it up, and my second original and Gina’s new one are in their infancy. We’ll push farther into them as the more exciting pair gets locked into place.

I’m excited to stretch out our improved confidence across a handful of new tunes. Hopefully we’ll begin to debut them at some of our summer shows – so far, we’re playing twice each at the awesome Triumph brewery and the delightful 2nd Saturday event in Collingswood:

  • 6/13, 9:30pm – Featured Set @ Triumph Brewing Company Open Mic, Philly
  • 7/10, TBA – 2nd Saturday in Collingswood, NJ
  • 7/28, 8:00pm – Origivation Magazine Music Series @ Triumph Brewing Company, Philly
  • 9/11, TBA – 2nd Saturday in Collingswood, NJ

    • We’re still seeking an August event, plus one or two parties to play, so if you need some Arcati Crisis in your life please holler!

    Actual thing that just happened in my office

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    (scene: Peter and co-worker giggling maniacally in the hallway in front of our manager’s office)

    Manager: What are you doing out there?

    Me: If we tell you, you have to promise to not fire us for doing it.

    Manager: Sure.

    Me: We’re making a human pyramid in the middle of the hallway.

    Manager: Why?

    Co-worker: So we can take a picture of us in a human pyramid. I’ll be on top! [strikes a legitimate cheerleading pose.]

    Manager: Cool! Can I watch?

    (scene.)

    I’m a dreamer (but I’m no Paul McCartney)

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    Last night I dreamed a song. It was not the first time.

    I used to brag in grade school that I could memorize my bible verses by osmosis. I’d just practice them before bed and then sleep with the bible open next to my pillow.

    I was joking, of course. It was just the good luck of a procrastinator whose talent for memorization outstripped his clear distaste of repeating maxims from centuries old dead guys.

    Well, it turned out that I wasn’t entirely joking. My subconscious studying continued into college, as I would compose French essays in my head while asleep and then jot them down in the morning before class.

    Ultimately, the brain – or, at least, my brain – has a lot of extra wiring that our (my) conscious thought can get in the way of. Resting opens those circuits, and when it came to bible verses and French homework it was installing a new stick of RAM into my biological computer.

    I don’t recall when I first started dreaming songs. I know the first success was “Standing” which came in so powerfully that it literally woke me up! It also surprised the hell out of me, because the genesis of it occurred entirely while I was asleep. I didn’t have the basic lyrics or a melody worked out, resting next to my head like my erstwhile bible. Like asexual production or spontaneous combustion, “Standing” wrote itself.

    If that sounds weird and implausible to you… well, it is, but I’m not the only weird and implausible songwriter out there. Allow me to present exhibit A, Sir. Paul McCartney, describing the genesis of “Yesterday“:

    “I woke up with a lovely tune in my head,” Paul McCartney recalled to his biographer, Barry Miles. “I thought, ‘That’s great. I wonder what that is?'” He got up that morning in May 1965, went to the piano, and began playing the melody that would become “Yesterday.” At first, lacking lyrics, he improvised with ” Scrambled eggs, oh my baby, how I love your legs.” While he really liked the tune, he had some reservations: “Because I’d dreamed it, I couldn’t believe I’d written it.” – Betsy Querna, US News

    There you go. It’s not totally unprecedented, because a Beatle did it, too.

    Dream songs don’t always write themselves. Sometimes a dream person writes them for me. In one instance, Madonna sang me a song while playing it on an acoustic guitar, claiming it was a cover by REM or Wilco. I woke up really wanting to hear the song, but searching it’s lyrics and melody yielded nothing. Or, in the words of Sir Paul:

    So first of all I checked this melody out, and people said to me, ‘No, it’s lovely, and I’m sure it’s all yours.’ It took me a little while to allow myself to claim it, but then like a prospector I finally staked my claim; stuck a little sign on it and said, ‘Okay, it’s mine!’ It had no words. I used to call it ‘Scrambled Eggs’. – Paul in Paul McCartney: Many Years from Now

    Of course, Paul didn’t have Madonna singing the song to him in his sleep claiming it was a cover! For a precedent on that, I turn to my resident loon muse, Tori Amos, talking about her ballad “Hey Jupiter” from Boys for Pele on VH1 Storytellers:

    Let’s see, I was lying in bed. Um, strange things happened to you on tour, Like strange Englishman start sitting at the end of your bed – apparitions of dead guys. And they start singing songs to you. And this guy was definitely dead, and he was definitely singing to me. So I’m confused about the copyright laws. I’m not sure if I need to call his ex-wife and give him part of the song or not. But why should I do that! She’s rich, she’s not nice. So … I kept the copyright, and the song’s mine.

    Thus, I didn’t have to credit my imagined Madonna (or anyone else) for the tune, and so the yet-to-be-recorded “Message” became mine.

    I’m not sure about last night’s song, yet. It didn’t come with lyrics like “Standing” or “Message,” possibly because in my dream I was distracted by the effort of walking on stilts while I was singing it. However, it did provide a full, two-handed piano arrangement. I literally woke up, walked to the keyboard, and played the song without much pause.

    I wonder, what is it I have to put into my brain to have it pop out songs like tiny ping pong balls from a lotto machine? Can it be predicted? Is it something I ingested yesterday? I’m pretty sure I’m not ingesting some of the things Paul and Tori have ingested…

    Or, are Paul and Tori and I just wired that way?

    Is one of your favorite singer-songwriters also a songdreamer? Please point me towards their story!