• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

  • DC Guides
    • DC Events
    • DC New 52
    • DC Rebirth
    • Batman Guide
    • The Sandman Universe
  • Marvel Guides
    • Marvel Events
    • Captain America Guide
    • Iron Man Guide
    • Spider-Man Guide (1963-2018)
    • Spider-Man Guide (2018-Present)
    • Thor Guide
    • X-Men Reading Order
  • Indie & Licensed Comics
    • Spawn
    • Star Wars Guide
      • Expanded Universe Comics (2015 – present)
      • Legends Comics (1977 – 2014)
    • Valiant Guides
  • Drag
    • Canada’s Drag Race
    • Drag Race Belgique
    • Drag Race Down Under
    • Drag Race Sverige (Sweden)
    • Drag Race France
    • Drag Race Philippines
    • Dragula
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars
  • Archive
  • Contact!
You are here: Home / Personal / topics / house / Disaster is Natural

Disaster is Natural

June 28, 2010 by krisis

I have this theory about how Philadelphia is immune to disaster.

Stick with me for a minute.

No seismic activity. Relatively far away from potential tidal waves and protected from hurricanes. We’re not known for forest fires or mudslides, and despite our utter flatness occasional floods are minor. It doesn’t get too oppressively hot and the biggest challenge in our snow storms is waiting for the city to send plows. We’re relatively drought- and famine-proof, as modernized cities go, and NYC and DC are preferable targets for terrorists and rogue nuclear missiles.

Really, the closest we come to city-wide disaster is one of our sports teams winning a championship. Otherwise, short of OCD Godzilla bursting free from my chest to tramp around Center City, it’s a pretty safe place to live.

So, of course we move out of the center of the city to the fringes and within the first week there’s a tornado on our block.

Yes, day six as homeowners, tornado.

That is only vaguely an exaggeration. It wasn’t officially a tornado, and it was actually on pretty much every block adjacent to our new one while leaving us untouched.

I witnessed a portion of the storm from my office window, and it looked sufficiently deadly – I saw it blowing things clear off the gated roof of an adjacent building before my view was reduced to a foggy blackout. However, when I left, Center City looked no worse for the wear.

A huge tree on the next block, completely uprooted.

My new neighborhood was a different story. My bus stopped a mile short of our house in traffic snarled by dark traffic lights.

I disembarked and began a muggy hike back to my home. About a mile out from our house I started to see down tree branches. Then it was downed tree limbs, taking some power lines with them.

By the time I was a block away it was entire trees – trunk, roots, and all, upended ass over end to be splayed rudely across well-groomed lawns. Entire blocks of entire trees, the entire landscape denuded by mother nature.

To say I was nervous when I approached our house would be an understatement. I was obsessing over the huge tri-trunked tree that shades our patio, and how any of its trio of arms could go crashing through the roof to destroy my collection of guitars and recording equipment, now located in one conveniently destructible place.

My heart sank when I turned onto my street a block below our house, only to find it completely blocked off by the arboreal carnage.

A barricade of branches and power lines.

Having lived in the absence of disaster for nearly three decades, to me the sight was fantastical – as if my block had experienced some sort of wizarding dual, the debris glinting with hints of magic in the afternoon sun.

I navigated around it with great care, emerging on the other side to regard a pristine, untouched block stretching beyond the mess.

I raced the remaining distance to my house but, like the rest of our block, it was unmolested – no downed trees, no holes in our windows from golf-ball-sized hail. The only evidence of a storm my neighbor described as sounding “like a freight train passing by” was a dusting of shredded leaves on our lawn and our power, out.

We dodged a bullet – a house on the next block had its gutters shredded by downed trees, while a few streets over a massive branch decimated the windows of an SUV. A co-worker lost all of the power lines to his house to trees.

Us, we just lost our innocence – no longer protected from disaster by Philly’s impregnable grid of row homes, and now inclined to worry about the state of our house after every storm.

No related posts.

Filed Under: house, Philly, thoughts Tagged With: OCD Godzilla, weather

Previous Post: « What I Tweeted, 2010-06-27 Edition
Next Post: Indie TiMER gets RomCom formula right, sans formula »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. MA says

    June 29, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    I’m glad you guys were spared – we had 8+ hours of clean-up over here but no lasting damage.

    a few of my girlfriends live close to your new place and they weren’t so lucky. how long was your power out?

Trackbacks

  1. Crushing Krisis › Happy Birthday To This says:
    August 26, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    […] grew out of our old home, and caused a scene by threatening to vomit over paint chips. We even had our first brush with disaster, as a tornado zipped up our […]

Primary Sidebar


Support Crushing Krisis on Patreon
Support CK
on Patreon


Follow me on Twitter Contact me Watch me on Youtube Subscribe to the CK RSS Feed

About CK

About Crushing Krisis
About My Music
About Your Author
Blog Archive
Comics Blogs Only
Contact Krisis
Terms & Conditions

Crushing Comics

Marvel Comics

Marvel Events Guide

Spider-Man Guide

DC Comics

  • It’s gonna be May! Oh, wait, it’s ALREADY May…
    Hello, friends! Unfortunately, my non-CK life and […]
  • Drax GuideDrax Guide – now available to the public!
    Learn how the MCU merged several incarnations Drax into Dave Bautista's hyper-literal warrior with a vendetta agains Thanos in my Drax Guide! […]
  • Guide to GamoraGamora Guide – now available to the public!
    My Gamora Guide will help you find every Marvel comic starring Thanos's adopted daughter and the most dangerous woman in the galaxy! […]
  • Drag Race España Season 3, Episode 2 – “Drag Vision” Review & Power Rankings
    The queens of Drag Race España Season 3 make a collective stumble in this "Drag Vision" choreography challenge, earning the ire of the judges (though it's the kindest ire you'll ever see). […]
  • Star-Lord GuideStar-Lord Guide – now available to the public!
    Get ready for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 with my Star-Lord Guide, including every comics appearance of Marvel's TWO distinct Star-Lords! […]
  • Drag Race Sverige Season 1, Episode 8 – Sweden Grand Finale, “Queen Delicious” runway, & season retrospective
    It's the Drag Race Sweden Grand Finale! Our final three queens put their spin on an original song and walk a final "Queen Delicious" runway alongside their eliminated peers. […]
  • Adam Warlock GuideAdam Warlock Guide – now available to the public!
    Find the comics that inspired the plot of James Gunn's Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 in my Adam Warlock Guide - now available to the public for the first time! […]
  • Monica Rambeau: Photon (2022) #5 released by Marvel Comics April 26 2023New Comics & Collected Editions: Marvel Comics – April 26, 2023
    Catch up on newly-released comic books and collected editions from Marvel Comics April 26 2023, with guides to every title & character! […]
  • New for Patrons: Guide to Spider-Man 2099 (+ Guide to Marvel 2099!)
    Does Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse have you ready to read some Spider-Man 2099 comics? Use my Guide to Spider-Man 2099 to find every issue! […]
  • Updated: Guide to Exiles
    My Guide to Exiles is newly updated with an improved reading order, ISBNs, digital buy links, Marvel Unlimited reading links, and more! […]
  • Guide to Rocket RaccoonNew for Patrons: Guide to Rocket Raccoon
    Want to brush up on the comics origin of Rocket before the MCU tells their version? My Guide to Rocket Raccoon covers his EVERY appearance! […]
  • Drag Race España Season 3, Episode 1 – “Spain is Different” Review & Power Rankings
    Drag Race España Season 3 debuts by showing off its 13 queens (yes, we've added one) with a Supremme Talent Show and a "Spain is Different" runway. […]
  • Drag Race Sverige Season 1, Episode 7 – “Diva Assoluta” acting challenge Review & Power Rankings
    The Final 4 queens of Drag Race Sverige Season 1 bring their best performances to a Diva Assoluta acting challenge and a Drama Queen runway. […]
  • Tigereyes Most Wanted Marvel Omnibus 11th Annual Secret Ballot Results & Mappings
    Want to know the 61 books that ranked on the Tigereyes Most Wanted Marvel Omnibus 11th Annual Secret Ballot? I've got them all fully mapped! […]

Content Copyright ©2000-2023 Krisis Productions

Crushing Krisis participates in affiliate programs including (but not limited to): Amazon Services LLC Associates Program (in the US, UK, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, and Spain), eBay Partner Network, and iTunes Affiliate Program. If you make a qualifying purchase through an affiliate link I may receive a commission.