Archives for November 2010

But I Regress, pt. 6

November 3, 2010 by krisis

We’ve reached the penultimate chapter of regression to full-on thirteen-year-old, only with my own house and a much higher credit limit. Last time I tracked my geekdom from a manageable low tide to being reignited thanks to a visit to Brave New Worlds comic shop.

Get ready – we are about to dive deep into comic book nerdness.

Scarlet Witch losing her tenuous grip on reality - and on her face.

I thirstily devoured my newly Civil War trade paperback – loving the more-grounded, less-spandexed take on the comic book world. But where were my X-Men? Unlike the video game Civil War I had just played – complete with Cyclops and Jean Grey – here the X-Men were nowhere to be found.

A little internet sleuthing revealed the X-Men were largely holed-up at the mansion during the civil war, recovering from the worldwide reduction of mutants from thousands to a mere 198 thanks to M-Day.

M-what?

M-day was the result of House of M, when an unhinged Scarlet Witch commanded “No More Mutants” after she was forcibly evicted from her pleasant alternate reality where Magneto ruled a mutant-centric Earth.

Um, okay? Sure. Meanwhile, Jean Grey was in my video game, so was she back to life?

Emma & Jean ... not exactly fast friends.

Apparently not – Grant Morrison killed her both Jean and Magneto in 2003 during his run of New X-Men, the same one that cemented Emma Frost as an actual X-Man. Except, now Magneto was an X-Man too and Marvel was hinting at a Phoenix return with their new character Hope Summers – a pint-sized mutant Messiah who was the only new mutant born post-M-day. Hope was an infant then, but was promptly whisked away to the future by Cable to protect her from a murderous Bishop, who was sure she was a sign of coming apocalypse (little “a,” not big “A”), and now she was about to return as a not-so-tiny teen that looks a lot like Ms. Grey.

What? WHAT?

I spent the weekend surfing comic sites, trying to make some sense of the convoluted comic history that occurred since I gave up in 1996.

I was about to move into a new house where I could actually have packages delivered, so maybe I’d catch up on a few comic books. Maybe just Uncanny X-Men? From issue #1 to where my collection started, and then to present day. Surely Marvel’s flagship title was entirely collected in trade paperbacks, easy to obtain from my friend Amazon.

Right?

Emma Frost and Hope Summers. Like a car crash, this is so disturbing that I can't seem to look away.

And, hey, even if there were some holes to fill with single issues, surely there was some straightforward guide to X-Men trade paperbacks that I could refer to somewhere on the internet.

Nope.

Nowehere. On. The. Entire. Internet. Try to wrap your head around that. The vast expanse of internet replete with its hard-core complement of geeks was devoid of a definitive guide to X-Men trade paperbacks.

Oh, I searched. I had forty-seven tabs open in my browser, trying to make sense of a tangle of Essential X-Men and Marvel Masterworks and Omnibuses and Premiere Editions. I found an out-of-date continuity site, the patchwork archive of Uncanny X-Men dot net, litanies of lists on Wikipedia, and a slew of lists on eBay and Amazon.

Lots of pieces, but no whole: a single, comprehensive website that tracked every X-Men comic from issue #1 to issue whatever. A guide to collecting X-Men comics as an adult. A logical, sequential explanation of how to catch up in TPBs instead of unwieldy, expensive single issues.

It simply didn’t exist. So, of course, I had to build it.

And I did – in less than two months! You can check out my guide to collecting X-Men now, but to hear how it came together, and how I came to own ten years worth of X-Men TPBs in a fortieth of the time, you have to tune in to one more installment!

Crushing On: Del Monte Fruit Chillers

November 3, 2010 by krisis

I like dessert. I love cold dessert.

I also enjoy not blowing up my boyish figure like a Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon. You scoff, but I am fighting a genetic profile full of large Italian asses and midsections that expand post-30, and I refuse to go boldly over that particular hill.

But, you see, I love cold dessert a little too much. I cannot pass a water ice or sorbet store on foot without buying a serving. The average shelf-life of a half-gallon of ice cream in my house is 36 hours.

As with many things, strawberry is the best flavor.

Think about that, and then contemplate what happens when Acme has one of those “2 for $5” sales.

It ain’t pretty.

Enter the Del Monte Fruit Chiller. It is basically the best invention ever. Made by Del Monte (kindergarten flashback: they made your fruit cups), the tiny plastic cups start out as a semi-solid fruit slush. However, a few hours of freezer time makes them yummy fruit ice cups that are as a near a neighbor to a fresh fruit smoothie as they are to a sorbet.

(Hot tip #1: Serve with a dollop of peanut butter for a breadless PB&J dessert snack.)

(Hot top #2: Toss two in a blender with some vodka.)

We absolutely live on them. Yes, the dreaded High Fructose Corn Syrup is ingredient number three. But do you know what ingredient number one is? Apples. Basically, Del Monte found a way to make apple sauce awesome for the post naptime set.

Single-serving, satisfying frozen desserts that are non-dairy, made with fresh fruit, 100% of daily Vitamin C, and 170 calories with no fat. Oh, and less than a dollar each in a four-pack.

Sold.

PS: Beware, dieters and diabetics – thanks to sugar content they are 15% of daily recommended carbs.

PPS: This is not an endorsement of the fruit-pop style Chillers. They are creepy. Stick to the cups.

Things To Do In Philly, 11/3 Edition

November 3, 2010 by krisis

Did you do any of last week’s things to do in Philly?

I made it to one – the Cris Valkyria / Victoria Spaeth show at the Tin Angel, and it was awesome (despite both fabulous ladies fighting their own Autumnal head colds).

I also received a report from friends of CK that the Hudson Beach Glass tasting was incredible. I am here in front of all of you making a vow not to miss another one as long as it doesn’t conflict with rehearsal!

Here’s what’s up for this week in Philly – but, first, don’t forget that I have my Philly debut on bass with Filmstar next Friday at The M Room! $8 cover for a 9pm start, splitting the bill with The Tragics & Leiana.

Thursday, 11/4
Who: Laura Mann and The Lifeboys, with David Cope
Details: 8:30 p.m. @ The Tin Angel, $10
Why? I played a show with David Cope last year and was transfixed by his songs. He is a trove of genius folk rock songs, with high, ringing vocals reminiscent of classic Neil Young.

Friday, 11/5
What: First Friday @ Drink Philly
Details: Free from 5 p.m. and on at 239 Chestnut St., 2nd floor.
Why? Drink Philly‘s philosophy is that you should never drink a badly-mixed cocktail. They facilitate good drinking with events that feature free signature cocktails and appetizers from local restaurants, plus the additional social lubricant of local art to view and discuss. This month they feature work by Jeremy Goodfellow, April Kuhn, Millie Landis, and Linnea Vegh, plus Brazilian Jazz by the Ryan McNeely Quartet.

Land of Talk sporting fabulous hair and matching sweater vests, respectively.

Friday, 11/5
Who: Land of Talk with Suuns and Little Scream
Details: 9 p.m. @ Johnny Brenda’s, $12
Why? When I first heard Land of Talk I thought they might fulfill the Garbage-shaped hole in my new music array. That’s not the case, but this indie trio churns out layered, female-lead rock that makes them at home on a playlist with Metric. Take a chance on them in this intimate venue in case they’re playing sheds on their next tour.

Saturday, 11/6
Who: Girls Rock Philly 2nd Annual CD Release Party
Details: Noon at Johnny Brenda’s, $5 and kids under 5 are free
Why? You know how I’m always bitching how there aren’t enough plain old rock bands that happen to be fronted by woman? Well, non-profit Girls Rock Philly shares my complaint, but they do more than just bitch – they host musical summer camps to teach young girls to rock as hard as their testosterone-filled counter-parts. Check out what this year’s camp has wrought with a kid-friendly day-time show featuring the bands that formed this year.

Tuesday, 11/9
What: Philly Sings Philly
Details: 8 p.m. sharp at The Fire, $8
Why? A who’s who of Philly songwriters are convening at The Fire every Tuesday this November to cover each others’ songs. That’s about as much hip as you can fit into a single night of music. Every week of the month features a steller lineup, but it will be hard to top this one, featuring Best of Philly winner Suzie Brown, my personal folk hero Hezekiah Jones, and killer re-interpreter Ryan Williams (of the Ridiculous Fantastic).

As always, if you have the inside line on a cool Philly happening please leave a comment or hit me via the contact field.

Crushing On: Dresden Dolls

November 2, 2010 by krisis

Sometimes you find music that is so in tune with your own influences that it seems to be deliberately made for you.

The Dresden Dolls are that.

The Dresden Dolls

The Dresden Dolls are a two-piece band – hard, clanging piano from Amanda Palmer and the best drumming on the planet outside of Scandanavian death metal from Brian Viglione. Amanda sings in a smarmy, cabaret-influenced alto belt which over the years has become a third finely tuned instrument in the band’s arsenal.

Already they are completely up my alley. Then, it turns out the Dresden Dolls are influenced not only by cabaret and punk, but by Bertolt Brecht and David Bowie. They love winkingly nodding to unusual corners of pop culture, like covering the Maurice Sendak poem (and personal anthem) “Pierre” and – on Sunday night – covering an Auto-Tune the News song.

I originally heard about the Dolls from our friend Chaz, but didn’t really get the point of their vicious cover of Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs.” Then, 2006, we were headed to Bonnaroo and I saw their “Yes, Virginia” on the Bonnaroo artists rack. What the hell?, I thought, and picked it up.

That album became one of my favorites of the decade, and yielded perhaps my favorite song of the decade, “Backstabber.” Virginia transcends punk cabaret to be an awesome pop album filled with hyper-catchy singalong anthems with a subversive bent, like “My Alcoholic Friends” or “Mandy Goes to Med School,” a catchy tune about being a back-alley abortionist.

Sunday night at their 10th Anniversary Concert they played “Backstabber,” “Mandy,” and just about every other song I love, and ended with “War Pigs.”

This time I got the point.

Recommended mix-tape: “Good Day,” “Coin-Operated Boy,” “Girl Anachronism,” “Backstabber,” “My Alcoholic Friends,” “Shores of California,” “The Kill”

How to succeed at (the (video) game of) life.

November 1, 2010 by krisis

My life is a lot like a video game, and this blog is a lot like my life, because this blog talks about my life and thus resembles it.

(My musical other half Gina debates the topic of life being like a video game in a song, asserting that “there’s no extra lives, you don’t get big from a magic mushroom, and you don’t find coins in an underground room,” but let’s leave that argument aside for a moment.)

The timeless style of the Red Mage

I remember the first Final Fantasy, for Nintendo. It was my (and millions of others’) first exposure to the concept of an RPG. Sure, older kids had played some D&D by 1987, but that was the demonized (heh) occupation of confirmed nerd. FF brought that nerd-dom to the spoiled kids who already had their own NES.

(Nope, no bitterness there.)

In the original Final Fantasy each character was an archetype: Fighter, Thief, Black Belt, White Mage, and Black Mage. That meant you were good at that one thing, and mostly that one thing only.

The exception was the Red Mage. He could cast black and white magic, plus fight a little. Oh, and he was styling with a long coat and a pimp-hat.

This seemed like the perfect solution to six-year-old me (and probably a lot of other people, too) – why waste time with characters who are only good at one thing if you could have one that’s good at three? Why not just have a party full of Red Mages?

Of course, game developers realized this, and so the Red Mage wasn’t quite as kick-ass as we had hoped. He could fight, but not as well as the Fighter. He could cast spells, but not as advanced as the White and Black Mages. A party full of them would rock at the easy levels, but probably wouldn’t stand a chance in the end-game.

In effect, game developers rewarded specialization. The jack of all trades wound up the master of none. Also, he had a branding problem – we called him a “red” mage, but wasn’t he more like a grey mage that could also hit stuff?

(The myth of a character that’s good at fighting and hurling powers from a distance continues in video games to this day, called a “Tank Mage.”)

Maybe six-year-old me liked the Red Mage so much because I was a Red (Tank) Mage. I was good at science and math, strong at writing and social studies, and eventually on stage in plays. I’ve always delighted at being self-sufficient, which meant being good at everything.

A decade ago if asked to describe my strongest skill in one sentence, none of my friends would have answered with the same “Peter is/does [x].” I didn’t have a brand. I went on my merry way, doing everything, but I wasn’t the greatest at any of it.

That’s the story of my blog, too.

November is Na[tional] Blo[g] Po[sting] Mo[nth], a month which challenges us to blog daily. It sounds easy, but you have to maintain it through Thanksgiving! And, in some years, through getting engaged to your wife!

This year for NaBloPoMo I’m trying something a little different. I’m branding Crushing Krisis. Up above us my tagline reads: