• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Crushing Krisis

The Newest Oldest Blog In New Zealand

  • DC Guides
    • DC Events
    • DC New 52
    • DC Rebirth
    • Batman Guide
    • The Sandman Universe
  • Marvel Guides
    • Marvel Events
    • Captain America Guide
    • Iron Man Guide
    • Spider-Man Guide (1963-2018)
    • Spider-Man Guide (2018-Present)
    • Thor Guide
    • X-Men Reading Order
  • Indie & Licensed Comics
    • Spawn
    • Star Wars Guide
      • Expanded Universe Comics (2015 – present)
      • Legends Comics (1977 – 2014)
    • Valiant Guides
  • Drag
    • Canada’s Drag Race
    • Drag Race Belgique
    • Drag Race Down Under
    • Drag Race Sverige (Sweden)
    • Drag Race France
    • Drag Race Philippines
    • Dragula
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars
  • Archive
  • Contact!
You are here: Home / Personal / off-topics / music / philly music / Filmstar / rock band sweaters

rock band sweaters

August 3, 2011 by krisis

Tonight we had a sweaty Filmstar rehearsal.

Sweat is one of those unglamorous parts of rock star life that I feel is not sufficiently advertised by bands to aspiring musicians and parlor-bound Rock Band addicts, along with writing lead sheets and receiving constant electric shocks to the face from your microphone if your instrument isn’t properly grounded.

(Seriously, do you want full, pouty, Jagger lips? Just play a shoddily grounded bass and sing right up on the mic.)

No matter what sort of sweater you are under typical life conditions, when you are flinging a sixteen pound bass around while also doing some form of the frug and singing backup vocals, you are going to develop more than a healthy sheen.

Add to that the heat generated by your equipment or a low-hanging stage light focused on your neck and rocking out for an hour is roughly equivalent to spending the same amount of time in a sauna. Which makes 2.5hr rehearsals a marathon of perspiration.

I think I was experiencing all four aspects of band sweat at this gig. What you can't see in this photo is the stage light positioned about eight inches from my face.

We’ve all seen bands sweat, right? So what am I bitching about? Here are some aspects of band-sweat you might not have previously considered:

Sweaty vision. Sweat can sting in your eyes to begin with, but if you are a perfectly coifed rocker you are gradually sweating all of your chic hair product into your eyes, causing a stinging temporary blindness.

This usually takes three or four songs to get underway, which means you’ll be struck blind just as your set is heating up, typically during the most intense and difficult-to-play section of a song.

Which leads us to…

Sweaty hands. Either your hands sweat, or you get sweat (and dissolved hair product) on them trying to restore your vision. Shockingly, neither holding on to a plastic pick nor plucking bass strings in a regular rhythm is made easier.

Which means…

Sweat accessories. You need them, and I don’t mean Olivia Newton John style headbands. When planning your killer stage outfit, some part of it has to double as a hand-towel – and, let me tell you, leather pants do not fit the bill. Now I understand why so many singers wrap boas and scarves around their microphone stands.

Of course, then there’s the problem of…

Sweaty clothes. Once your set is over you want to reap the rewards of being a rock star – namely, adoring fans, and possibly a cold beer. Except, you are soaked through to the skin as if you had been standing under a fire hydrant, and with the rush of performance and the baking stage lights behind you your body is suddenly cold and clammy.

(My father has for years pointed this out to me about strippers; I did not realize he was telling me a parable that would assist in my rock star life. Sorry, dad.)

Allow me to enlighten you to the fact that fans are way less interested in fawning over you and hugging you when your entire ensemble is a massive sweat stain. And, despite what your Almost Famous dream fantasy looks like, until you are past local levels of fame most green rooms do not include fully appointed bathrooms with showers so you can make a quick change. I’ve played exactly one gig that has had one.

There you have it: my band sweat exposé. Maybe next I’ll address the practical issues of selecting attractive footwear that does not hinder your pedal-stomping.

For all my rocker friends: what other unexposed pitfalls of band life should the aspiring rocker be aware of before turning up to 11?

Related posts:

  1. she’s with the band

Filed Under: Filmstar, rehearsal

Previous Post: « Lost, not found. (or: stupidity tax) (or: NEARLY headless)
Next Post: so many songs, so little time »

Primary Sidebar


Support Crushing Krisis on Patreon
Support CK
on Patreon


Follow me on Twitter Contact me Watch me on Youtube Subscribe to the CK RSS Feed

About CK

About Crushing Krisis
About My Music
About Your Author
Blog Archive
Comics Blogs Only
Contact Krisis
Terms & Conditions

Crushing Comics

Marvel Comics

Marvel Events Guide

Spider-Man Guide

DC Comics

  • Guide to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IDW ContinuityNew for Patrons: Guide to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IDW Continuity
    Dig into over 200 issues of turtle power in perfect story order with my Guide to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comics at IDW! […]
  • Drag Race Sverige Season 1, Episode 3 – “Drag-a’-mera!” design challenge Review & Power Ranking
    The queens of Drag Race Sverige stress over a Drag-a'-mera unconventional materials design challenge and a pair of intimidating judges in Christer Lindarw & Fredrik Robertsson. […]
  • New for Patrons: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Guide to Mirage Studios Continuity
    Curious about the b&w indie comic origins of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? my Guide to Mirage Studios Continuity covers every issue! […]
  • Drag Race Belgique Season 1, Episode 5 – Snatch Game & Night of 1001 Audrey Hepburns Runway
    The queens of Belgique compete in a oddly low-key Snatch Game and a Night of 1001 Audrey Hepburns runway that emphasized realness over glam. […]
  • RuPauls Drag Race Season 15 Episode 12 - Wigloose The Rusical Title CardRuPaul’s Drag Race Season 15, Episode 12 – “Wigloose The Rusical” Review & Power Ranking
    Wigloose is one of the best Rusicals ever, and it arrives at the perfect moment to address anti-drag, anti-LGBTQA* legislation across America. […]
  • Updated: Guide to X-Men Legacy
    I updated my Guide to X-Men Legacy, but it's more like an anti-update - since Marvel has yet to get around to recollecting Mike Carey's incredibly run. […]
  • Guide to GamoraNew for Patrons: Guide to Gamora
    Learn more about Thanos's adopted daughter and the most dangerous woman in the galaxy in this Guide to Gamora, of the Guardians of the Galaxy […]
  • New for Patrons: Guide to Shadowhawk by Jim Valentino
    If you've spent some portion of the past 30 years curious about Jim Valentino's Image Comics hero, my new Guide to ShadowHawk explains his history and how to find every issue in reading order. […]
  • Drag Race Sverige Season 1, Episode 2 – “MARATHON Talent Hunt” Review & Power Ranking
    It's the "MARATHON Talent Hunt" as Drag Race Sverige puts on a talent show with some shocking acts, followed by a Pippi Longstocking runway. […]
  • Shazam Guide, The Captain Marvel of DC Comics – now available to the public!
    Excited for Shazam! Fury of the Gods but unsure where to start reading his comics? My Shazam Guide covers EVERY appearance from 1940 to today! […]
  • Drag Race Belgique Season 1, Episode 4 – “L’émission qui vous déshabille” acting challenge & “Ceci n’est pas un look!” runway Review & Power Ranking
    Drag Race Belgique delivered a brainy episode filled with culture with a spoof of the documentary "Ni Juge, Ni Soumise" and a Magritte-inspired "Ceci N’est Pas un Look" surrealist runway. […]
  • RuPaul's Drag Race Season 15 Episode 11 - Two Queens One Joke - Comedy Luxx Noir London Loosey LaDucaRuPaul’s Drag Race Season 15, Episode 11 – “Two Queens, One Joke” Review & Power Ranking
    The Top 7 queens of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 15 take the stage for a Two Queens One Joke comedy challenge and a Rip Her To Shreds runway. […]
  • Updated: Guide to New X-Men by Grant Morrison
    My Guide to New X-Men is freshly updated with the newest reprinting of the New X-Men by Grant Morrison omnibus, the final Peter Milligan recollection, and more. […]
  • New for Patrons: Guide to Brigade
    I think you've forgotten one of Image's earliest comics. It's about a disgraced super soldier leading a vigilante team dedicated to justice. Ring any bells? […]

Layout copyright © 2017 · Foodie Pro Theme by Shay Bocks · Built on the Genesis Framework · Powered by WordPress

Links from Crushing Krisis to retailer websites may be in the form of affiliate links. If you purchase through an affiliate link I will receive a minor credit as your referrer. My credit does not affect your purchase price. Affiliate programs and affiliations include, but are not limited to: Amazon Services LLC Associates Program (in the US, UK, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, and Spain), eBay Partner Network, and iTunes Affiliate Program.