Well, that’s one to sleep on, isn’t it?
Meanwhile, after the party ended i wound up at ben’s dorm room, hanging out with Ben and his roommate and our castmate Sharon and playing electric guitar on the floor until i got sober. I don’t know if i’ve ever mentioned Ben … but i’m not actually friends with him. It’s more like being jealous of his whole being and also thinking he’s really cool (a long story, partially having to do with his golden voice and partially having to do with girls liking him) . Except… suddenly we’re friends, and we hug each other goodbye and have dumb guy conversations to annoy Sharon because she’s the only girl in the room. I think being friends with more guys who i genuinely like would really add something to my social status right about now, and if there was anyone i ever really liked it would be Ben.
shit shit shit shit shit. never read drunk emails from your ex-girlfriend less than half a day after regrettably breaking up with her…
should you wish to take back what you’ve done
I’ll forgive you without a moment’s hesitation
All the more sensitive and drunk parts were left out for all of our benefits, but … but … she offered me an out. I can swallow my pride (because i was stupid and it was entirely my fault) and go back to her and make it all work. But i shouldn’t. Or should i? Shit. Shit shit shit. Never read drunk emails from your ex-girlfriend at 4am, especially if you still love her, even if you’re totally sober.
So, i arrive at the party and have a drink made for me, because i’m a social drinker and i drink socially. Near the bottom of the drink, she showed up (not that i begrudged her the party, because they’re her friends too, but i didn’t think she was coming). What ensued was a hilarious competition to see who could get more hammered and have more lamentable flirtations in order to make the other person feel even worse. Of course, i kept on nursing the same drinks for most of the night, and i had instructed the entire party to make her virgin drinks so she only got a shot or two into her the whole time. So, i was blissfully numb and she was trying to be totally wrecked even though she wasn’t. And she slapped me a few times. But i’m sure i deserved it. Every few seconds of interaction there was actually a glimmer of that friendly smile – and that’s all i really want, at this point.
Well, this’ll give you something to stew over for the night, won’t it? I’m showering and then it’s off the the fairwell party, where nearly everyone i know at Drexel will be. So… it’s a safe place – lots of people who really care about me and my welfare. I promise to check back in when i wake up in the morning with details of all the incredibly stupid things i’m bound to do tonight. … well…i already did the stupidest one already, so it can only get better from here.
Wow, i’m a broken fucking record, eh? “And the emotions spun out of control and the bodies fit like a needle in the groove and after it was all over we couldn’t even muster up the strength to move.”