Crushing Krisis

The Newest Oldest Blog In New Zealand

sex

Vivrant

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Yes, yes, I thought I was going to get things done last night, cleaning and working on the webpage and whatnot, but Rufus had something to say about it. Rufus and his Want, half pop masterpiece half operetta, seducing me to sleep and then haunting my dreams so that I was singing along to songs i had never heard before when I awoke.

I usually think sex is in the rhythm of a song – I am incredulous as the “best to make love to” lists that are troughs of mid-tempo R&B. If I was making a soundtrack for sex it would be all about rhythm – Death Cab “Company Calls Epilogue,” Q-Tip “Vivrant Thing,” Pavement “Stereo” – songs that just have that something that seems to connect to your hips.

My point being (in that obtuse point-being way where I know exactly what I mean and you probably still haven’t the slightest idea) that Rufus’s entire aesthetic connects with my hips, and every other part of my body. His songs are sexy from the beat to the vocal to the scraping of the bow across the strings on “Angus Dei.” Even songs that I don’t like, songs that aren’t catchy in the least, songs I don’t think are entirely clever, appeal to me down to the root.

Gah, why do I even try to speak before nine?

Note to Self, Apparently Unread

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Note to Self: Stop having sex dreams about other bloggers; it’s kindof creepy.

PS: Definitely don’t post about this.

PPS: Well, if you have to post about it, definitely don’t allude to which one. Better not to post about it at all, though.

PPPS: If this should occur again in the future, definitely don’t get drunk with your girlfriend and tell her which one.

PPPPS: Furthermore, if this should occur again in the future and you get drunk with your girlfriend, subsequently telling her which one don’t answer any of her prying questions about the details, but do not phrase said reply as “Get your own sex dreams!”

PPPPPS: Re: Details – You whore!

PPPPPPS: Revise the margueritas ratio; it should not be 2:1 … Yes, you’re a boy, but she holds her tequila better than you do.

PPPPPPPS: You know, if you feel the need to be more risque you could just go back to posting webcam shots of your ass.

PPPPPPPPS: Fine, make the damn post, see if I give you any more advice.

An NC-17 to My PG-13

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Proving that you can still find some interesting things surfing from the “fresh blogs” on the blogger.com sidebar, yesterday i randomly happened upon Cock Under Lock.

Well, okay, not randomly; i had just spent thirty minutes fixing that Largehearted post, and i randomly checked to see if i was coming up on the recently updated list. However, the clicking was not random, and i won’t have you think i clicked through just because i saw a C. It was more like: Cock Under Lock? I wonder if it’s a blog about a pet rooster or a chastity belt?

And, well, the latter was the better guess. The premise is laid out by locked cock D in the introduction, the cock locks are occasionally displayed, and the cock locker E alternately contributes her side of the story. The page is a guilty pleasure, net-porn dirty but completely hilarious because it’s by real people, complete with photos of the toys being used and videos of D&E’s handiwork.

Not for the easily offended, sexually squeamish, or those disinclined to S&M. Oh, and please, please, oh please, do not read this one at work.

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I’m not much of a fan of pornography. I have always been a bit of a feminist and, even though i know that it’s a stock argument, i typically find porn distasteful primarily because of how degrading it is towards women. There’s just something about selling the image of submissiveness, passivity, eager willingness, or nymphomania as something for men to get off too that bothers me. Of course, i don’t really have much of a daily interaction with porn, other than the inexplicably endless stream of advertisements for it that i receive every morning when i check my email. Reading the incredibly entertaining True Porn Clerk Stories, i found myself wondering What would i do if i worked in a porn store? I mean, other than get hit on by all the guys picking up twink videos. The fact of the matter is, i’m not sure how i would react to the often times disturbing or disgusting videos that were brought up to the counter, or how i would reconcile my feminism with what i was selling. Ali Davis does both in her stories, in a way that is both amusing and honestly very thought-provoking. A very high-quality read (blogged from Tweebiscuit, who i hadn’t read in a long time).

https://www.crushingkrisis.com/2002/12/90070560/

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There’s something about watching nearly four hours of the overwhelmingly attractive overwhelmingly male cast travel their course on middle earth that makes me want to write slash fiction. And, not any kind of slash fiction, but sleazy interspecies Tolkien slash-fiction. I found myself mentally noting all the places it could be deftly inserted, to the point where i almost took out pen and paper to start writing down times. Frodo and Sam are easy, half the time they’re shown they seem like they’re about to make out or are recovering from quite a session. Pippin and Merry are just as easy… obviously out in that field doing something other than hunting for carrots when Sam and Frodo came upon them. Legolas is a little harder to work in, as tempting as he is. Apparently the slashers out there have an affinity for hooking him up with Gimli, but i could never pair such a fair haired sprite with that warty overgrown garden-dwarf. Perhaps Legolas could comfort Aragorn as he regrets his elvish bride? Or slip off with Frodo to help him improve his marksmanship?

Snow days do odd things to the brain.

https://www.crushingkrisis.com/2002/12/90020300/