• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Crushing Krisis

The Newest Oldest Blog In New Zealand

  • DC Guides
    • DC Events
    • DC New 52
    • DC Rebirth
    • Batman Guide
    • The Sandman Universe
  • Marvel Guides
    • Marvel Events
    • Spider-Man Guide (1963-2018)
    • X-Men Reading Order
  • Indie & Licensed Comics
    • Spawn
    • Star Wars Guide
      • Expanded Universe Comics (2015 – present)
      • Legends Comics (1977 – 2014)
    • Valiant Guides
  • Drag
    • Canada’s Drag Race
    • Drag Race Down Under
    • Drag Race France
    • Drag Race Philippines
    • Dragula
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race
    • RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars
  • Archive
  • Contact!

isolation

anti-social anti-media

July 5, 2012 by krisis

We spent our Independence Day holiday lazily barbecuing with our friends Chris and Courtney. E prepped a seemingly endless area of fishes and dessert dishes, and Chris manned the grill all day between trips back into the AC.

Courtney and I mostly just ate cheese.

Chris and Courtney are new friends, but Chris is an old acquaintance. In college he was always a friend-of-a-friend. The guy with the crazy stories about flipping his truck or blowing up things in his backyard. I would never call him up to offer to hang out.

As a result, E didn’t really know him at all. When we re-met him last year at her shared birthday party with Ross we laughed non-stop with him and his new girlfriend Courtney, and kept gravitating back to them in conversation in a room full of people we knew better. A few months later, we called them up for dinner on a whim, and now we’re semi-regular friends.

I find that a lot of the people I spend time with fall into the category of “new friends,” though it’s less down to meeting people at parties, and more because of social media. Yet, the things that give me fodder for discussion on Twitter are the ones keeping me from hanging out with the people I’m tweeting! And that’s okay – that’s how we Twitter-met, after all, and we still all have Twitter to chat on. I can be busy and physically anti-social, but still digitally mingle.

Chris and Courtney were an exception. They don’t tweet. They use Facebook to collect photos. They occasionally text. If we wanted to see them, we would have to put in the effort and the phone call and actually see them with our eyes instead of a screen.

We’ve kept it up over the past year, and every excursion is a fun one. Lately, we’re beginning to take the same methodology to our existing friends – both collegiate and online. Do they want to stop by for lunch? Can we meet them somewhere for a quick cup of coffee?

That’s what I spent my Monday night doing, with @PurpleCar. We sat and gabbed for two hour straight in a diner. E invited my dear high school friend Ariel over for lunch on Saturday. We might go to a BBQ that day, as well.

Friends are more than just a square of illuminated pixels and bolts of notable musings dashed off between other engagements. Friends are people who make your face hurt from smiling, whose stories you relish and rehash once you’ve known them all.

We spent our Independence Day with friends, unfettered by cell phones and check-ins. It felt apropos.

Filed Under: isolation, parties, thoughts Tagged With: BBQ

Fresh Music: Regenerate (video demo)

September 1, 2009 by krisis

In a moment I’m going to show you a song so new that I’m not entirely sure what the title is. I’ve played it less than a dozen times.

At some prior point in this site’s storied history I would write a song, literally record my first run-through, and post that as a demo – sometimes all in a single day. “Granted” is an example.

That’s pretty wild stuff – giving birth to a new creation and immediate debuting it to the world. They at least towel babies off before they shoot most of the photos.

Now, debuting a just-born song is a scarier prospect for me – my recording set-up is more sophisticated and (as a result) much less forgiving of tiny flubs. Luckily, video saves the day. It forces me out of my audiophile box to think about how to perform a new song, instead of just how to play it. Flubs are part of the charm.

That’s how this video came to be. The song is newborn, and it might still pick up some more lyrics or transitions. The emotions are still vivid and visceral to me; this may be as close as I can take you to being inside my brain as I write.

(Song #274 – working title “Regenerate”)

I’m sure I’ll get snooty about all my crap old videos after nine more years of blogging, but for now I love it.

Filed Under: bloggish, demos, identity, isolation, video

a world outside the sphere

November 16, 2008 by krisis

With my valiant effort to get online last night and blog despite missing some sibling-to-be hanging out time I’ve now made it past the halfway hump of NaBloPoMo, where I was left stranded last year.

It’s interesting how this month of writing is shaping up, compared to the first year in 2006. Then I had a whole month of stories plotted out to tell. This year the posts have been more of slowly unspooling chain of thoughts, with each day linking to the previous one (either obviously, or just in its inspiration).

Much like last year, running the event through the Ning network has made it more of a personal challenge than a team effort – even with a social network at its center NaBloPoMo feels impersonal, and lacks the amazing community of 2006. No one seems to be making a point of reading everyone else (as I legendarily accomplished the first year).

In light of that, it’s taken a concerted effort to connect with other participants. Every morning I read a few fresh blogs on the network, and leave comments if I can muster anything to say between tooth-brushing and shirt-choosing. It’s lead me to befriend a few new bloggers, though nowhere near the volume I did in 2006 (who still makes up a healthy chunk of my feed subscriptions).

One blog I’ve become immediately devoted to is Paradise Preoccupied, home to an American expat mother of grown children who has remade her life (and her family) in the island nation of Seychelles. I first tuned in to blogger Sandra when she made a post about the semi-autobiographical novel she was writing based on her time as a band-aid in the 70s. Since then we’ve been keeping up daily – the first new daily read I’ve had in a long while.

Wreke Havoc is devoting each day to a Blatantly Bad 70s song. We’re not talking about mildly terrible 70s songs that you’re slightly nostalgic for and occasionally enjoy listening to in the car. No. These are insidiously terrible, and you will cringe as you listen to every one (all while enjoying the accompanying essays).

Another two I’ve been keeping tabs on: there is no vodka in this kool-aid is a perfect blend of nice and nasty, and Jinx (who shares a moniker with my favorite G.I Joe) is one of the rare few bloggers posting original music online. From her I cribbed Interes.tingness, which syndicates all of Flickr’s most amazing new photos in real time (just like LJ Aqua, but with pictures instead of real-time streams of Russian emoness).

I’ve also picked up two non-BloPoMo linkers: my theatre friend Sharon’s delicious natural cooking blog, and Dragonballyee, the personal blog of half of Messy and Picky, a Philly food blog.

It bears mentioning that some of my 2006 buddies are still around and actively linking to me, including You’re Doing It Wrong (my cross-country OCD blog-soul mate), Debbie Millman (inscrutably cool brand executive who I’m still hoping to grow up to be), Snippy (who I think still plans to make out with me if we ever meet in person?), my dear Mit Moi (who seems to have an anecdotal response to ANYTHING I say or post), and One Blonde’s Ambition (who used to have Augustana’s “Boston” autoplaying on her page for so long that I was eventually forced to buy it when she took it off her layout).

That’s all I’ve got in me this exhausted evening; with the two-plus hour commute by train each way trips to New Jersey completely wind me. I’ll be skipping my typical T-Give journey in an attempt to right my month and get a few more Trios done.

(PS: If you are currently reading/linking me and you assume I know and am just ignoring you, you are quite possibly wrong. I keep an eye on my inbound links and trackbacks, but I’m not as vigilant as I was in the olden days, so please stop by and leave a comment just in case. (Of the above, I had no idea Sharon had a blog, and I had completely lost track of Blonde’s Ambition when she changed urls.))

Filed Under: isolation, linkylove

Exteriors.

August 27, 2008 by krisis

Over the past few days I’ve spent most of my free moments unknotting the multi-thousand post mess that is my neglected Google Reader.

It’s fascinating to me that I let it go unread for so long, because I’m always looking for something to consume. I spend all night pinging in a circle from LiveJournal to MySpace to FaceBook to Huffington Post to Ain’t It Cool News, seeking out ever-more-incremental updates. Eventually if none of them seem to be in motion I’ll settle for mindlessly playing the newest game over at Kongregate.

Think about that for a moment. Elitist, progress-oriented me will settle for the empty feedback mechanism of a flash video game rather than check up on the lives of hundreds of my peers via my Google Reader.

What the hell? It seems my introversion extends to the blog arena as well.

And, I know you’re all like, “Peter, enough with the introversion already, you’ve kept a blog for eight years and in each of those years I’ve seen you make a willing spectacle of yourself in public at least twice.”

I had that in mind as I caught up on Confessions of a Pioneer Woman, reading her tongue-in-cheek FAQ post. In response to a question about agoraphobia, she says:

I diagnosed myself with mild agoraphobia because although I PREFER to never leave my house, I still CAN leave my house if it involves doing something fun. But even then, I usually choose to stay home. I’m emotionally, physically, psychologically, urologically, and ophthalmologically attached to my home.

Note that this woman lives and actively works on a ranch, so to some degree the concept of “home” likely includes some portion of the vast outdoors, which makes her not your traditional agoraphobe. Yet, in her mind she is still mildly agoraphobic, because left to her own devices her natural orientation is to remain in her home space.

That description perfectly fits my view of my own introversion. In areas I define as “home” I’m a natural socializer: work, meetings with friends, the stage … all perfectly comfortable environments where I can be myself.

However, socializing with co-workers, attending friends’ parties with people I don’t know, or hanging at the bar prior to playing … those experiences all make me feel weird and out-of-place. And, I know not everyone is a social butterfly and that it takes time to adapt to different environments, but my reaction is on a different level. I stop being interesting, opinionated, vocal me. I literally forget how to do it. I’m back in grade school, unsure of which lunch table I should approach to garner the least teasing.

That can really get in the way of my success in the arena of local music. Because, much to my disappointment and chagrin, you do not get booked all across the town just for showing up once or by being able to play for an hour without interruption. I assumed people would listen if I trained my voice and wrote well-structured songs.

Well, I was mostly wrong. You have to be persistent. You have to make connections. You have to build to your own personal tipping point. Otherwise, you’re some asshole stranger trying to make a splash in an unreceptive room.

I’ve been that asshole too many times, and I’m really trying to learn how to just be a regular regular, even if my regularity is slightly irregular, because being regular is really an extroverted attitude rather than a frequency of appearance.

I’ve been striving for that this summer, both solo and as Arcati Crisis. Each has their own challenges.

Solo means its hard to get me out of the house, but once I’m out I’ll sit and endure hours of open mic. Usually after my set I work up the nerve to say hello to a few people, as prior to it I am endlessly revising my set list. (One day I’ll play a solo gig and adhere to my setlist exactly. Once. Eventually).

Arcati Crisis gets me out of the house more quickly, because – duh – I get to hang out with Gina. But, once we’re installed at a coffee shop or bar I clam up around the other musicians because – duh – I get to hang out with Gina.

For a while we’d hit entire strings of open mics without making any new connections or friends, but lately we’ve been taking turns being sociable, and we’ve been rewarded by meeting some amazing musicians, like Andra Taylor, Year Long Day, and Kursten Bouton, just to name a few we’ve gotten up the balls to talk to.

So, that’s going well. The more people I meet, the more reasons I have to get out of the house and play – I am cultivating pocket of “home” at every open mic in Philadelphia. At Lickety Split I can be myself at a single table, but at Blarney South I’m me at the whole back half of the room.

Google Reader presents the same opportunity – to turn peers into pockets of extended home. Yet, if I neglect to read Pioneer Woman, and Mark Larson, Akkam’s Razor, Moose In the Kitchen, What If No One’s Watching, You’re Doing It Wrong, and dozens of my other favorite blogs, then they stop being familiar, and my barriers go up. No emails, or comments, or track backs. CK becomes the splashy asshole.

In my Google Reader cruise I was also catching up on longtime CK peruser Karl Martino, and happened upon a post about the apparently ongoing Philly Blogger Meetup.

Imagine that – a setting that can combine the terror of going to an unfamiliar open mic with the daunting task of talking to total strangers alongside the deeply uncomfortable experience of talking about my blog to someone who has never read it before.

I signed up.

Filed Under: arcati crisis, bloggish, introversion, isolation, linkylove, philly music Tagged With: gina

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in.

June 4, 2008 by krisis

When I am out and about as much as I have been lately – happy hours and concerts and open mics and all that – I become fussily self-involved and introverted in all of my off-hours.

I’ve never had to sustain my “on” state four or five nights a week before, and it’s definitely taking it’s toll on my personality, subsequently turning down my volume and contrast until I can adequately recharge.

This always catches people who don’t know me that well off guard – namely, my co-workers. In my corporate life there is a lazy susan of personality quizzes that spins back around every year or so, and each new set of peers are like, “really? introvert? are you sure?”

You can’t really afford to be an introvert while being an account manager, so I can understand their confusion. But, everyone else knows this about me: I need to balance personal and public, output and input. And, sometimes even when I’m the communications guru the off state can make an appearance. Word spreads pretty quickly that I am having an in-service day.

On the homefront my darling Elise is, curiously, trapped inside of the introversion – the girl in the bubble – forced to act as the shoulder-angel to complement the devil in me. To her credit, she knows the call and response pretty well now – communicate, commiserate, and castigate.

(i.e., first find out why I am fussily inwards facing, then agree whole-heartedly with why the rest of the world sucks, and then finally tell me to shut the hell up about it and lighten the fuck up.)

So, yes, we all know this about me by now, having read and re-read endless iterations of the cycle here over the years. Sometimes the ebb is measured in weeks; lately it’s more minute to minute. Round up friends to go on a bar crawl, turn off my phone the next day. Buy twenty new CDs, eschew them to write songs all weekend. Et cetera.

What we maybe didn’t know was that I have a similar web ebb (webbeb?), insomuch as when I’m all over MySpace promoting the band and Facebook keeping in touch with people and Gmail haggling with various wedding musicians, and The 61 hearing awesome new music and, oh, my job that involves keeping tabs on people in email all day … when I’m doing all of that I’m in my on state, and then I get home with the intent to blog and I am off and I’d rather just write eighteen emails to myself and work on my 20k word critical essay on Hedwig then chronicle what is what for the internet at large.

Which is, as per my wont, my excuse to say here comes a backlogged tonne of thoughts and links and mental flotsam that I need to flush out of my system so I can talk about actual timely topics like politics, and my wedding, and how my band fucking rocks.

(Which, by the by, it does, and did, just three hours ago. But, before we get to that, first the further digression…)

Filed Under: arcati crisis, elise, introversion, isolation, self-aware, thoughts

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 8
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar


Support Crushing Krisis on Patreon
Support CK
on Patreon


Follow me on Twitter Contact me Watch me on Youtube Subscribe to the CK RSS Feed

About CK

About Crushing Krisis
About My Music
About Your Author
Blog Archive
Comics Blogs Only
Contact Krisis
Terms & Conditions

Crushing Comics

Marvel Comics

Marvel Events Guide

Spider-Man Guide

DC Comics

  • Breaking News: D&D continues support of Open Gaming License (OGL 1.0), releases their core rules SRD under Creative Commons
    Breaking news! Dungeons & Dragons made the shocking announcement that they're keeping OGL v1.0 and releasing SRD 5.1 under Creative Commons! […]
  • Marvel United Multiverse Civil War Box KickstarterMarvel United: Multiverse has a Civil War in their new expansion box (and uses it to solve their Young Avengers problem)
    All out war breaks loose in CMON's Marvel United Multiverse Civil War expansion set, adding several classic Avengers and a new PVP play mode. […]
  • The Reading Order Guide to Excalibur - image from Excalibur (1988) #1Updated: Guide to Excalibur
    My updated Reading Order Guide to Excalibur adds several new collections, including big Epic Collection news! […]
  • X-Factor Math & Maps: Collected Issue Counting and Future Omnibus Mapping
    it's time for mathing and mapping X-Factor! How much of X-Factor been collected from its start in February 1986 to the team's most-recent appearance Dec 2021? And, how could it all fit into Omnibus? […]
  • The Guide to Unstoppable WaspUnstoppable Wasp, Nadia van Dyne – Definitive Collecting Guide and Reading Order
    The definitive issue-by-issue comic book collecting […]
  • Marvel United Multiverse Age of Apocalypse - Kickstarter Exclusive BoxMarvel United: Multiverse enters the Age of Apocalypse! (plus, predicting the 10 most-likely expansion boxes)
    CMON's Marvel United: Multiverse - Age of Apocalypse brings more mutants to the game! What are the 10 next expansions we might see soon? […]
  • The Guide to Unstoppable WaspNew for Patrons: Guide to Unstoppable Wasp, Nadia van Dyne
    Who is The Unstoppable Wasp, and how did an elegant retcon from writer Mark Waid make her a different character than the MCU's Hope van Dyne? […]
  • Champions (2016) #1 variantGuide to The Champions – now available to the public!
    My Guide to The Champions is now available to everyone! Learn why Marvel abandoned this team concept after its 1977 cancellation until 2016. […]
  • Dolly told me I’m doing okay
    Do you know what happens when you run a lot, even when you hate every single second of doing it? Eventually, it gets easier. But, Dolly Parton doesn't always offer you encouragement when you shatter your personal record. […]
  • RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 15, Episode 4 – Snatch Game, Review & Power Ranking
    The double-size Season 15 Snatch Game gave us 14 celebrity impressions and a surprising amount of successes, though queens struggled with their "Beautiful Nightmare" runway prompt. […]
  • Marvel United: Multiverse makes more mutants, plus Inhumans enter the fray with War of Kings!
    The Marvel United: Multiverse campaign debuts a War of Kings box, and I tally a few hundred missing mutants they could add to the campaign. […]
  • Werewolf by Night – Definitive Collecting Guide and Reading Order
    The definitive issue-by-issue comic book collecting […]
  • Washington Post - New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern resigns ahead of electionA Surprise Farewell to Prime Minister Ardern
    It felt like Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern was personally keeping my family safe with her decisive actions on gun violence and COVID policy. Now that era is coming to a close. […]
  • Marvel United Multiverse Kickstarter Campaign ImageCMON’s Marvel United returns to Kickstarter with Marvel United: Multiverse!
    Board game publisher CMON is back on Kickstarter with a third wave of their delightful Marvel United game - and this time, it's multiversal! Their new campaign is for Marvel United: Multiverse! […]

Layout copyright © 2017 · Foodie Pro Theme by Shay Bocks · Built on the Genesis Framework · Powered by WordPress

Links from Crushing Krisis to retailer websites may be in the form of affiliate links. If you purchase through an affiliate link I will receive a minor credit as your referrer. My credit does not affect your purchase price. Affiliate programs and affiliations include, but are not limited to: Amazon Services LLC Associates Program (in the US, UK, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, and Spain), eBay Partner Network, and iTunes Affiliate Program.