ocd

Spring Cleansing

March 25, 2007 by krisis

Following my successful computer reinstall everything in my life has seemed primed for refreshment and renewal. After work my desktop is the place where I spend the most time – if I can be organized in both of those places, why not everywhere else?

I cleaned everything partially-hydrogenated out of my refrigerator. I collected all of my bills and financial statements into neatly organized binders. I re-organized my dress shirts into roy g biv order.

This mostly-organized better version of me is now contentedly sipping a strawberry Limoncello martini***, windows flung wide open to let in sunny spring air. Everything in my house is now clean and reset with one exception: my links folder. Let’s see what’s in there…

I know I’m a touch behind on this one, but I thought Time’s article on 300’s impact in Iran was intriguing, if only because from my perspective this wasn’t a hugely calculated studio movie, but an independent work inside of a studio system. In any event, the movie was fascinating, if not terribly great. Definitely worth seeing on a big screen.

The more I work in (and love) a corporate communications culture, the more I appreciate the awesome Ad Verbatims a blog that features such gems as, “I’m not sure what the client wants, so let’s try and do something the client will buy,” and “If I give you approval, what can I still change?” I can’t even begin to enumerate how many times I’ve heard those two phrases in the last month.

Just for reference, since I had an inordinately hard time figuring it out: K.T. Tunstall uses a Akai E2 Headrush to create loops in concert. You can buy one here, however, through assiduous and lengthy research, i discovered that instead you should consider a Boss Loop Station before ultimately buying the awesome DigiTech JamMan, which runs on flash memory.

Um, this is a great photography article. I can’t remember any other reason I would have bookmarked it. Oh, because I saw his flickr photo of Easter crucifixions. Also, his Millau Bridge photo is stunning.

Alright, I’m out of martini, so this is the last link you’ll get: The Weather Market is a competitive weather-prediction site where users try to run up the best streak of forecasting. Fun.

Oh, and, re: my martini, I used 3 parts cranberry to one part strawberry stoli to one part limoncello. Shaken and served on the rocks. Delish.

What’s In My Wallet?

December 28, 2006 by krisis

Capital One not only boasts commercials with various vikings and other barbarians, but also a strong claim of fraud protection. It was with that in mind that i rang them up last night, as i was about to drop some major expense onto my Capital One card, including a purchase from a new website that would be shipping to an alternate address. AKA, recipe for a declined charge.

Calmly and with the air of one resigned to the large amount of money he was about to spend i explained my predicament to the phone rep. She told me never-to-fear, that we would add the alternate address as a note on my file so that any questions about the validity of my purchase from vendors or the fraud department would be headed off at the pass.

Having found a rare phone rep who sounded as if she knew what she was talking about, i let her do her thing. I think i almost offered to send her flowers, but settled for passing my complements along to her supervisor.

Fast forward to today, twelve-hours post buying binge, when i check my email to discover that one of my transactions had declined. Not the special, weird transaction, but a normal one with Amazon.

And, a few minutes later, so did another. And a third. And a fourth.

None of the transactions to the new address declined. Neither did those paid in Pounds or Euros. Just the standard American purchases that probably comprise half of my credit card statements from 2006 – sheet music.

Because, clearly, someone had stolen my card and was using it to buy obscure Madonna sheet music to send to my house. Oh my god, please save me from the fraudulent horror of rare, out-of-print Madonna sheet music. In two of the declined cases we’re talking about a single copy of a piece of sheet music out of the entire internet, verified via approximately six hours of hunting.

On this phone call i was much less calm, and i spoke to a much less confident phone rep. His name had a ‘v’ in the middle of it. He, uh, thought that, um, maybe my card had been flagged for fraud? Possibly. Because, ahhh, because of the amount of online transactions I made on the card over the past week.

“Levine,” i said, “I think every purchase on the card in 2006 was made online. From the same stores that are being declined.”

Devon “ahhed” in agreement.

“So, why is it declining now that I’m relying on it to pay for twenty-year-old, nearly one-of-a-kind sheet music?”

Irvin “ummed” in confusion.

“Howabout we just put a note on my file that says, ‘Book purchases will never be fraudulent?'” I resisted the urge to add, “or any itemized charge including the word Madonna.”

Slevin “uhhed” for a moment before agreeing that this was doable.

The upshot of that story is that fourteen days from now I will have in my possession sheet music for all but a dozen of Madonna songs (not counting Evita tunes), and of the ones I’ll be missing most people have only heard three.

At that time my office will be officially dubbed the International Madonna Sheet Music Library.

(In case you’re interested, the three common tunes are “Burning Up,” which inexplicably doesn’t exist as sheet music, “Beautiful Stranger,” and “American Pie.” Though, if you’re a connoisseur you will probably also know the trio of “Physical Attraction,” “I Know It,” and “Think of Me” from her first LP. However, I’d be surprised if anyone would really miss my ability to play “Gambler,” “Spotlight,” or “Time Stood Still,” and would be outright shocked if many people have heard b-sides “Cyberraga,” “Your Honesty,” or the crazy-obscure “Supernatural.”)

NaBloPoMo Round-Up #10b, or Possibly #11, but Most Definitely Last: A Splendiforous Surplus of S, and the Complete Abridged Works of the Fab Four

November 29, 2006 by krisis

Because i have a minuscule, highly-atomic OCD-Godzilla tramping around in my soul, crushing tiny mitochondria like so-many prop houses made out of cardboard, i almost couldn’t allow the Roundup series to extend to the hideously prime 11.

Then i realized that this is the eleventh month of the year so it would totally make sense.

I’m still not completely at peace with it, but Godzilla has retreated back to his radioactive hidey-hole so i can get down to business.

209 S blogs between here and recording more new music and writing real content. 209. 209. 209. I should record a whole song of me saying it over and over and over.

Seriously, my Beatles Complete Scores book actually has the score for Revolution #9. As if anyone has that at the top of their list of Beatles songs to play out of the 200ish in the book.

Okay, now i’m just stalling. Although, that book was possibly the most satisfying $50 i’ve ever spent on myself.

But, hey, that’s a great idea! I’ll listen to a tiny fraction of every Beatles song chronologically for every S blog i read! If a song ends my time is up, and the blogger gets an honorary link for ~~wasting my time~~ holding my attention.

Although, more likely is that I might hear 2 whole seconds of some of them while i frantically click away!

Just kidding. I actually average 46 seconds of attention per blog, which means this should take me about three hours, and plenty of catchy choruses.

Bleary-but-Wide Eyed

November 4, 2006 by krisis

It is in the general vicinity of freezing outside, and the incursion of said temperature into our house is the only thing keeping me awake and alert at the moment. And, in my least wakeful state the only two things i can really manage are playing guitar and blogging, and it’s way too cold to play guitar.
Elise went off to have breakfast at Ikea and shopping in other heated buildings, leaving me to suffer alone from my refusal to turn on the heat before Thanksgiving. Because, underneath this 25-yr-old wrapper i am clearly a stingy old lady living from pension check to pension check.
I want to start winging my way around the NaBloPoMo sites in order to try to catch a little of every writer, but Eden over at Fussy is not done updating the big list of urls (at least, i don’t think she is, because i’m not on it yet, which is OKAY), and the OCD Godzilla inside me says that’d if i start surfing now i’d just have to start over later when the rest of the participants were added. I’ll do whatever you say, OCD Godzilla, just please don’t step on my cold little house or make me talk in overdubbed English.
In the meantime, NaBloPoMoer Lane has created a NaBloPoMo randomizer that will satisfy your endless curiosity about what people would write about every day anyhow.
When i first followed that link i thought, hmm, Lane, that couldn’t be the Lane who i used to read on Trianide, who i loved because she had a webcam but wasn’t a whore, who took amazing photos, and who loved Fiona Apple, could it? This Lane is living in a completely different hemisphere. Surely not the same Lane. Well, from a quick glance at Trianide it turns out it that it is the same Lane! NaBloPoMo: Bringing people together.

Does it count as using the heat if i go downstairs and turn on the oven to cook something but then huddle in front of it to absorb its warmth? It seems like a suitably in-character thing to do if i’m going to keep acting like a batty, frugal, old lady with OCD. And possibly dementia.

A ‘Rooing We Shall Go!

June 13, 2006 by krisis

In less then twenty hours i will be en-route to one of America’s Big Three music festivals – Bonnaroo – unfolding for four days in the center of a 700+ acre Tennessee farm with over 75,000 rock fans camping out to take in the nearly 24/7 music, comedy, and film.

Knowing me as well as you surely do, you might find yourself wondering, “Are you sure you want to camp in the middle of almost 100k people in the middle of a farm in the middle of Tennessee in the middle of June?” I am definitely not pro-camping, am slightly anti-people, assuredly pro-metro pro-blue-states, and for sure anti-heat.

Clearly, Bonnaroo is my personal kryptonite – a collection of all the things that leave me woozy just from contemplating them, but lined with the glowing allure of endlessly awesome music.

However, consider this: i am nothing if not a consumate over-preparer. And, while that won’t help me too much with the small city i’ll be surrounded with, it certainly bodes well for a road-trip that ends in camping in withering summer heat. I have equipped myself with a partner nearly equal to myself in OCD worrywartism.

We tandem shopped Walmart, Target, and EMS sports for necessary supplies, working from an exhaustive excel spreadsheet. We set up and struck our tent (an 8-man with a shade porch) at night while tipsy and with little light to simulate actual conditions.

We have our travel itinerary printed in a binder with corresponding directions, historical notes, and soundtrack (a la Elizabethtown, but with better music). We have an entire pharmaceutical cabinet masquerading as a duffel bag, chock full of sanitizers, moisturizers, analgesics, and antihistamines. We have a trio of eight-mile range walkie-talkies that charge in the car.

And, perhaps most importantly, we have enough liquor to keep several dozen fest-goers drunk for a solid twenty-four hours (and, lest that sound irresponsible, we also have corresponding FAQs on hangover cures, dehydration, and heatstroke).

I am ready for Bonnaroo. I think. I’m still on the fence about buying something with GPS.

No, really, I’m ready. Stay tuned to see if i managed to blog any of the festival via picture posts and time in the ‘Roo internet tent.