Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

day in the life

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I was totally frantic and unfocused yesterday because i was running on 2 hours of sleep and a bag of corn chips that i ate early Sunday morning. Everything in my life keeps falling apart. First of all, i’m falling apart … i went back to the dentist yesterday to try to get my filling situation fixed and he only made it worse. Naive to the ungodly amounts of pain i was about to return myself to i absently-mindedly popped a piece of Trident into my mouth at Tower Records and wound up having to hide in the easy-chair in the periodicals section because i was in too much pain to coherently browse through the records. And, anyhow, i would never pay more than $16 for an album.


Everything is falling apart pieces at a time… Matt took a turn at locking himself out of the apartment today, so i loaned him my keys… except for i couldn’t remember where i put the spares after i got locked out last tuesday, so he had to keep my keys for the entire day. The apartment is a warzone … my physical possessions seem to multiply while i’m away to make more bric-a-brac crap for me to throw on the floor when i get back. Packing for my new apartment at the end of August should be entertaining… out of mine and into the (currently unconfirmed) new place in 12hours flat. Righhht.

I know this is banal, but i have things coming at me from too many directions right now to be able to do anything more than just report on them. And the counselor meeting just let out. Away i go!

https://www.crushingkrisis.com/2001/07/4587987/

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I am searching for inspiration.

Monday nights in Peter-land are nap nights, because i always stay up way too late on Sunday nights (in this case, harrassing Ernie and posing naked for my only appearance on Bertie‘s SurvivorCam). So, last night i had my standard 16-hour sleep-a-thon during which i got nothing done other than sleeping. And then came today. And then comes tomorrow.

This summer definitely has a very sweeping quality where it just pushes me along and i don’t entirely realize that time is passing. The Madonna concert is in 19 days and i’m not even close to freaking out. The new Garbage album comes out next month. I have to register for classes. I’ll be 20 soon. I’m afraid that somehow i’ll fall asleep tonight and wake up tomorrow to everything in my life happening all at once like a thousand cannons all firing across the span of a field that i’m standing in the middle of. Or maybe that was today.


But, as i mentioned, i am searching for inspiration; not any specific kind of inspiration, mind you, but a more general sort of inspiration that can motivate me to do any one of a great number of things that i should probably be doing. The thing about inspiration is that it has to offer you something that the present does not, or otherwise you’d be content rather than inspired, and i think that’s nearly what i am right now (which is not to imply that i’m happy… i suppose i meant “complacent” more than i meant “content,” but complacent makes me think of lazy slothful people and i actually paid bills and rode a bike this week so i’m surely not either of those).

(I’m glad i cleared that little confusion up; imagine… me, content? That would sorta defeat the entire purpose of this, wouldn’t it?)

https://www.crushingkrisis.com/2001/07/4363145/

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Benjy just said something to the effect of i haven’t really been saying much about my life recently. Well… yeah. My life hasn’t been very much of a life recently. There has been a lot of work (42 hours last week), a lot of sleep (Monday to Tuesday is typically 14 hours of sleep, other nights are usually 8), some sports (kickball, bowling, avoiding borishly inebriated theatre people, rollerblading), a lot of guitar-playing, and… well, and some random email to the notify list. But, really, that’s it.

Mention of the list brings up the fact that I would seem to be spread pretty thin considering my participation (and lack thereof) in CK, JLA, CORlog, Repulsed, 25/24 Updates, &; PSB2, but none of those things really directly compete for each other’s content. JLA is only for when i am unlazy enough to write down a review of an album instead of just thinking it; Repulsed is for especially straightforward observations on life or politics that would be redundancies to this log, 25/24 is for noting the work i get done on that project (if any), COR is gated by the amount of music i buy, and PSB2 is just inane. The only spectre of a competitor is the Notify List.


I’ve always held that i’ll post anything to this log that i ever think to write, but sometimes there are things that i don’t think to write – because they’re repetitive or they don’t fit in with the voice of the log or because i just want feedback from them. I started the list as a way for me to keep blogging during the absence of the blog itself, and now that i have the blog back i have enough readers on the list that it represents about half of my regular readership and since they’re interested they have the chance to read all of that in-between content that wouldn’t ever really get written into this box. Every update of the list has involved me staring into the Blogger post screen for five or ten minutes before resorting to email. I suppose i went in the opposite direction of DotComments… instead of trying to make my audience a part of my log so i can track them i’m trying to hold my audience captive to my log in another medium. It’s the same, though, because subscription to the list is inherently participatory in the same way commenting on a post is in that i know that the people on the list read whatever i write to them and if they didn’t want to they would just ask me to be taken off. Whatever. The point being, there will be more life when i have my life back, and if you’re that seriously addicted to me you should probably be on the list (which Benjy is, so he’s just addicted).

Wow, that was pointless.

https://www.crushingkrisis.com/2001/07/4335659/

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Today was the slowest and most intensly boring day of my life and i got nothing done. Nothing. Not a single iota. Blah. I’ve been sitting here for hours doing nothing and wondering about what i could be doing, but that amounted to just doing laundry, and i wasn’t too pleased about that. Of course, i won’t be too pleased if i have to go commando tomorrow for lack of clean underwear, but i’ll burn that bridge while attempting to cross it (and i’m sure that the burning process will involve an automatic hand-dryer on the 2nd floor of the main building the men’s room and a very wet pair of underwear. but, seriously, i have underwear for tomorrow, so don’t worry).

By the way, i’ve whored out all of my musical opinions to other places, but that can’t stop me from telling you that the Magnetic Fields’ 69 Love Songs: Vol. 1 is the most totally confusing, unexpected, and utterly perfect album i own. And, i don’t even really need the whole thing, just 2/3 of it. Even more frighteningly, Rabi and several other credible witnesses claim Vol. 3 is the one that will change my life, and i don’t think i’m ready for any further alterations at this point so i’m sticking with Vol. 1 with some occasional flirtations with Vol. 2 (kisses without any tongue, at the most…).


Incidentally, 69 and the eclecticism therein was one of the main inspirations for 25/24… not that i’m going to be eclectic in any way shape or form, but i’d like to think i’m capable of it. And there might be a surprise or two in there somewhere. But, yes, i just realized i have a whole album of new songs and i’m making an unalbum with them. You’ve heard them all mentioned here at one time or another save for the first and last songs, “Atlas Girl” and “Necessary Evil.” The latter i wrote last week and fell instantly in adoration with, and i debuted it to my happy little mailing list to absolutely zero reaction. Yay for happy little captive mailing lists that don’t talk back unless you tell them they should probably talk back. Meanwhile. “Atlas” was a song i wrote for Gina (and i don’t know if i mean that i wrote it for her to sing or if i wrote it for her, but it’s definitely one or the other) the first week we were living at Drexel and it’s pretty and simple and i haven’t played it for well over a year and a half or even thought of it and when i saw it on Saturday i knew that it was a good thing i had saved it. Simple and pretty wouldn’t have stood up to the Crashing/UMS combo i had going a little later that year, but it fits in nicely right now.

Rambling on into the sunset we go. I wrote a song in my head while walking home today but scrapped it because it was clearly a pop song because i could hear its tinny little drum machine percolating in my head. I have written 125 songs that i am willing to count as songs, and that leaves quite a few tinny misfires. And it’s been four years? I wonder if i’ll even know the (three) chords to Under My Skin in four years? I’m sure i’ll have had a wonderful devestating crush to replace UMS by then, though.

Ha, devestating crushes. Teri off at boot camp where i can only send her flat little packages, Laurel in Belfast where she doesn’t like me any more than when she’s here in Philly, and some other people. Bleh. At least they make me write songs… as if i have these girls walking back and forth in my brain in a terrible parody of Herman’s Head and every so often they dislodge a tiny idea just like when you unwedge the water from your ears after a particularly long swim. Songs have been like that lately… falling out of my mouth as if i had just swallowed them by accident and now i’m coughing them up again. Ahh… songs as hairballs… there’s an image to stick with you.

I obviously need to go to sleep, but first i will listen to the romantic masterpieces known as “Let’s Pretend We’re Bunny Rabbits” and “Fido, Your Leash is Too Long.” Love songs aren’t so horrible when they’re vaguely bestial, i suppose. And, after all, nibbling on your ears and doing what bunnies do isn’t the most unromantic suggestion in my entire music collection.

Wow, i needs me some sleepies. night.

https://www.crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/4278850/

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I just recorded the worst trio ever. Ever. It started with me trying to cover Weezer, and then i sing a punk song, and then i try to be a credible folk singer for a song or two, and then i make “Lost” sound like it’s a bunch of cats fighting each other out in an alley. Yum. But, even better, i’m taking another stab at it in five minutes.


Speaking of stabbings, i managed to stab myself three separate times with that shiny new knife of mine. Three. So, yeah, it didn’t just look sharp because it was the only big knife in the aisle. Also, i made dinner for a whole room full of people and mine was the only dish that was completed gone at the end of the night. Mad props.

Wow, actually, inbetween all of the cats fighting i do some pretty neat stuff on “Lost.” Okay… try #2, here we come.

https://www.crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/3915058/