songwriting

Dolly told me I’m doing okay

January 22, 2023 by krisis

Last night, Dolly Parton reminded me that things come to me easily when I work the hardest. Just like Paul McCartney.

Also, our unconscious brain is the original A.I. engine.

Except, I guess it’s a paradox to call the human brain artificial intelligence? Also, come to think of it, that first sentence was kind of paradoxical too.

Maybe I should back up a step. Maybe several steps.

I am mystified by people who run. Especially those who enjoy running or who can run quickly. I’ve always hated running and it seems to hate me right back. The process of my body lurching forward into a sprint has never once satisfied me. Every second I am running is a second I’d rather not be running.

Over the past year I’ve done a fair amount of running. More than 150 kilometers, at least – which certainly more-than-doubles my lifetime mileage.

Do you know what happens when you run a lot, even when you hate every single second of doing it? Eventually, it gets easier. I stopped getting as out of breath as I did at the start of the year. I stopped getting side stitches after a few months. After a while, I started getting marginally faster on every 5k route through my neighborhood.

Let me tell you: there is no kind of reward for running that is better than the running being over more quickly.

I look a break from running over the long, soggy New Zealand winter and spring. When I started running again in the past month, I feared I was right back to where I started. I was going to hate being slow and breathless and full of cramps. That was true the first few weeks. Then, something surprising happened. Without really trying, one day I checked my stopwatch at the end of my route and realized I had shattered my personal record by 30 seconds. Nothing about the run had seemed remarkable. I hadn’t even hated it any more than I hate any other run.

Things come to you easily when you work the hardest.

That’s also true for mental exertion. [Read more…] about Dolly told me I’m doing okay

Music Monday: “We’re Good” – Dua Lipa

June 20, 2022 by krisis

There is no place on Earth where my brain is more alert than in the dentist’s chair.

Seriously. I know many people dread the dentist, but I feel like I’m never so full of life-altering epiphanies as when I’m trying to ignore the fact that several people have their hands inside my mouth.

Maybe that’s particular zen I mastered from more than four years of dull orthodontia appointments. Or, perhaps it’s about deepening your relaxation through discomfort, like hot yoga or lying on a bed of nails.

It would be terrific brainstorming time if not for the fact that it’s difficult to jot down major brainwaves while tiny motors are whirring just beside your tongue.

(Honestly, I’ve put a lot of thought into this. I touch type well enough that might be able to manage with a wireless keyboard on my lap. Perhaps once I’ve forged a trusting relationship with my Kiwi dentist I can convince her to let me give it a try. Think of all the blog posts I could knock out during a cleaning!)

This peculiar introduction is my way of explaining that I didn’t hear Dua Lipa’s “We’re Good” for the first time during a dental checkup, but it was the first time I really heard it. There was something about it that my dentist-zen brain responded to immediately. I furiously attempted to jot down mental notes that I could reconstruct later.

First, there is the two chord figure in the reggae-tinged verse. The chords are a G#m and a C#. That’s not such an unusual combination of chords, but something about their use here pings my brain in a peculiar way.

It’s the F in the C# chord. That note doesn’t exist in G#m natural minor, which means the song is not in the “normal” minor key our ears expect to hear. From the second measure the song starts breaking your expectations. That musical uncertainty is reflected in the contradictory opening lyric:

I’m on an island, even when we’re close.

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 7, Episode 6 – Total Ru-quest Live: recap, songwriting analysis, & power ranking!

June 18, 2022 by krisis

Welcome to my recap of the sixth episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 7 – Total Ru-quest Live, a “girl group” challenge of constructing throw-back pop songs that would fit in 20-years ago… but with your own unique twist.

At this point in the evolution of Drag Race, it’s fair to ask this question: Does anything matter more than making RuPaul laugh?

This isn’t the case on every reality competition show. Some involve fan voting. Others involve a clear, objective set of success criteria. Others still feature a more-balanced panel of judges, where thwarting the tastes of the most-famous judge can sometimes yield an underdog storyline (see: Simon Cowell).

On any of those shows, some things could matter more than making RuPaul laugh. On Drag Race, nothing matters more.

On Drag Race, there’s no way to win other than to make RuPaul love you. There are no objective criteria for challenge wins, as we’ve seen many times before. The easiest way to secure a win for the week is to amuse RuPaul. That’s a surer bet than designing the most over-the-top costume (e.g., Utica losing the ball to GotMik), delivering a flawless performance (e.g., Jan losing the Madonna/Michelle week to Gigi), or doing more tricks in a lip sync (e.g., anyone versus Simone).

The question of making RuPaul laugh comes with a second implicit question that is much more difficult to answer:

Does making RuPaul laugh matter outside of Drag Race?

That’s a much trickier question. RuPaul loves to point out that “drag will never be mainstream,” but his references used to align much more closely with mainstream tastes. With every obscure Diana Ross reference he dispenses, it’s clear that Ru’s status as a tastemaker is receding. Even eternal mega-stars like Cher or Madonna eventually fall behind the 8-ball of the ever-changing face of pop-culture and have to rely on nostalgia to drive their success.

Nowhere is that more evident than in an episode like this week’s. Ru awarded wins to a pair of outright comedy performances when other queens were delivering smoother pop songs. Ru isn’t looking for a pop songstress – he never has. He’s looking for a queen so far outside of the mainstream that she can make the mainstream notice her.

Even if Ru is laughing at different things than everyone else, she’s laughing for the right reasons.

Which two queens turned out those Ru-larious performances this week versus a pair of powerful popstresses? Read on to find out! Plus, at the end of the recap I’ll update my Episode 5 power rankings to show where the queens stand after another week of Legendary Legend badges. (Want to skip right to the power rankings? Go for it!)

Readers, start your engines! And, may the best drag queen… win! [Read more…] about RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 7, Episode 6 – Total Ru-quest Live: recap, songwriting analysis, & power ranking!

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 7, Episode 1 – Legends: recap, songwriting analysis, and power ranking!

May 21, 2022 by krisis

Welcome to my first recap of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 7 – All Winners!

Wow, that’s a mouthful!

I’ve been recapping and commenting on Drag Race both here and on Reddit since Season 6 in 2014. It’s amazing how much the conversation around Drag Race (and drag, in general) has changed in that relatively short period of time.

When I first started talking about drag online there was an emphasis on “female illusion.” Drag queens who presented a more believable (or, “unclockable”) presentation of exaggerated femininity tended to be more revered. That included their hair and make-up as well as their body.

A term that was often used at that time was “fishy” or “fish,” in the context of “she is the fishiest queen in the cast” or “she is serving pure fish.”

(That term has rightfully been called out for its misogynist roots. Yes, even gay men dressed as women can be misogynists. You can find me using the term in older posts, but it’s not something I would say today.)

(Similarly, “unclockable” tends to be associated with trans people “passing” as their gender and isn’t a term we need to use for drag artists – nor should folks outside of the trans community be using it to talk about trans folk.)

Linked to that emphasis on femininity, Drag Race had a perverse stance of devaluing or even barring woman contestants, whether they were cis or trans. The perspective that RuPaul espoused at the time was that having breasts or a more-traditionally feminine face or figure provided too much of an advantage compared to male-bodied contestants who ostensibly had to work to create that illusion.

That’s not the conversation we’ve having around Drag Race anymore.

The change has come from boundary-shattering Drag Race contestants; from other shows like Dragula and We’re Here; and from the Drag Race fandom itself. We have now seen trans women compete and win across multiple Drag Race franchises, as well as the first cis woman compete on Drag Race UK. Dozens of queens have come out as trans, non-binary, and/or gender-fluid, some on camera during the run of their seasons. And, the fandom and the judges are no longer demanding breasts and padding as a baseline requirement for “good drag.”

That doesn’t mean Drag Race is now a perfect platform. It still relies on the performance of womanhood, which has inherent problems. While to some queens that equates to a celebration of womanhood, for others it remains an exaggeration or caricature. Drag Race still has trouble appreciating drag artists who aren’t presenting glamorous feminine drag. It still has a homogenizing effect on drag around the world, to which it has now added an element of colonization with its vast set of international franchises. And, RuPaul and Michelle Visage still come from a set of pop culture and style references primarily rooted in the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s – before many of today’s drag artists were born!

Despite all of those detractions, the juggernaut of Drag Race is still elevating the work of dozens of queer artists around the world every year. I watch because I revere them and their talents. I love that the show has transformed into a celebration of their artistry rather than a catty, drama-filled reality show.

Of course, drag artists still come with some catty, drama-filled moments. That’s part of the proud herstory of drag! The show just isn’t as obsessed with manufacturing them anymore.

If Drag Race has increasingly become more celebration than competition, All Stars is it’s biggest annual bash. That makes this first-ever All Stars “All Winners” series a “Platinum Jubilee” of drag (or a “Quarter Quell,” depending on your perspective).

This new season features a decade’s worth of winners: eight artists who were originally crowned from 2011 through 2020.

That’s not every winner, nor is it every fan favorite winner, and some folks are grouchy about the heavy-hitting queens who abstained or were passed over. Yet, it’s a stellar cast of artists at the height of their craft, and it becomes evident very early in this episode why only eight of them are competing.

(The missing winners are Chad Michaels, Bianca del Rio, Violet Chachki, Bob the Drag Queen, Alaska Thunderfuck, Sasha Velour, Trixie Mattel, and Aquaria. Note that James FKA Tyra no longer performs in drag and Sharon Needles has been accused of some racist and predatory behavior that will probably keep her away from the brand for some time. Meanwhile, Lawrence Chaney, Kita Mean, Kylie Sonique, Symone, & Krystal Versacé were all either newly-crowned or not-yet-crowned when this was shot. Plus, reportedly, queens Ru did not personally crown are not yet eligible for this franchise, which knocks out English-speaking international winners like Angele Anang, Priyanka, Envy Peru.)

With all of that out of the way, it’s time to recap Drag Race All Stars Season 7, Episode 1 – “Legends”!

Whether you are a Drag Race veteran or you’ve never seen the show, I’ll cover every step of the episode in detail. In this premiere, the queens have to write a verse for a brand new Ru song, and I dare you to find another recapper who is a songwriter who has written more than 400 songs!

Plus, at the end of the recap I’ll update my pre-Season power rankings to reflect Episode 1! (Want to skip the recap and head right to the rankings? Go for it!)

Racers, start your engines! And, may the best drag queen… win!

Song of the Day: “Liability” by Lorde

July 3, 2017 by krisis

I am always fascinated when a teenage musician – not just a singer or player, but a songwriter – becomes a global star.

It’s a selfish fascination. I remember being that age and being full to the brim with inspiration. I recall feeling like songs were bursting out of my brain every single day, sometimes faster than I could write them down. I would naively follow all of my melodic impulses, no matter how transgressive, and for as many awful choices I see in hindsight there are the occasional flashes of brilliance.

I can never decide whether it is good or bad that YouTube didn’t exist at the time. I love that the teenaged songwriter version of me is a Schrödinger’s cat of internet fame; we’ll never know if he would be beloved or ridiculed.

For those selfish reasons, I have been more fascinated but the journey of the precociously talented Lorde than I was with the slick Justin Bieber or the initially folksy Taylor Swift.

All three are mega-talented songwriters, but they both express that in different ways. Bieber’s expression was about the casual, effortless coolness of being in the in-club. Taylor Swift was about transformation – from country kid who sang about being an underdog to pop bombshell sweeping up Grammys.

Lorde’s expression has been the utter opposite of them both. She’s almost too full of effort compared to Bieber, and as self-conscious as Swift but more wild and free than she has ever allowed herself to be.

Lorde’s songs are brimming with that wildness, starting with “Royals” – a song so basic yet so vividly evocative. Each feels like an aperture into her wildly buzzing creative mind, controlling the flow, letting just enough of her interior world through that we can make sense of it.

Despite the electricity of her songs, Lorde’s Pure Heroine wasn’t the world-altering smash of, say, Alanis’s Jagged Little Pill. It’s not a singular, unassailable achievement. She could and would be able to follow it up, and just has with her sophomore effort, Melodrama.

There are a lot of interesting, mature moments on Melodrama, but none so arresting as the bare piano balled “Liability.” Maybe that’s because Lorde is an obvious mastermind, controlling every little flutter and breath noise across her discography, but “Liability” is her sparest song. It’s a bare piano ballad – just keys and her voice.